Who am I following?

As a Boiler Room community here in Guildford, we have been going through the Bible in chronological order and reading it as a story. We call it God's Story, basically because it is the story of God revealing himself through time.

Anyway, we have now reached the climax where Jesus (the author in flesh) has come to earth to love, teach, serve, die and be resurrected (and I thought my life was complicated!). As we have started reading through the Gospel accounts again, I cannot help but stop in wonder at the person of Jesus. It feels like the more I read, the less I understand. Who is he? Is this the same Jesus I am following, or have I created my own personal Jesus who I find comfortable?

It has challenged me again to think soberly at what it means to be a Christian. A follower of the way. Who am I following? Do I spend time daily seeking Jesus? Asking Him questions, wanting to be near him? Or have I put him in a box somewhere, where I get him out once a week to talk to and then occasionally show him to others?

Who is it that we seek? Who are we following?

Take time to read the Gospels afresh. Ask the question, 'Who is Jesus?' and be prepared for Him to meet you in a new way.

A friend of mine gave a great talk on this recently. Check it out at this link.

What's in a name?

Names are funny things. Some of us are more aware of them than others, but how much do they mean to us? It's just a name right.

When you look through the Bible, there are countless occasions where people get a name change after having a significant encounter with God. Abram to Abraham, Jacob to Israel, Saul to Paul. Each time God was saying, 'This is a new start. This is who you are.' Cool hey!

Personally, I've felt a little convicted when it comes to my name. After my experiences while living in the US of trying to explain my name was not Donnel or Darnel and finding that Dan was more easily understood, I have since stuck with it. Problem solved. But recently I've realised the importance of the 'iel' in my name. See the name Dan means judge or judged. Dan was one of Jacobs 12 sons who went on to become one of the tribes of Israel. The name Daniel, however, means 'God is my judge', with the 'iel' being the God part. Only a small difference, but in many ways a big one.

Therefore, I have decided that I will now introduce myself and sign off as Daniel, and if people want to call me Dan then that's fine, but I want to proclaim and live out the true meaning of my name, which recognises the Lord as my judge and the one that I fear.

Stepping into the past

One of the roles that I have at the moment is co-ordinating a week of 24-7 prayer a month for the whole of next year (2008) across Guildford in the UK. It's really exciting to see the response from churches and individuals to this idea and I think it's going to be a significant time as we seek to join with Jesus in what he's doing in the Town by spending time with Him and then following Him to those places and people.

I was talking about this with a friend the other day and we both recognised the importance of the generations before us who have faithfully prayed and sought the Kingdom for Guildford.

It's on their foundations that we are building this house of Prayer.

I was thinking about this for a while after and was just blown away by the thought (once again) that we are part of something a lot bigger than ourselves. I wonder how many people have prayed and dreamed about what we are about to undertake and here I am an outsider from Wales, helping make it happen. Why me?

It also makes me wonder about my own family and what I am stepping into there. We have been reading through the Old Testament and seeing the way God works through family. What promises have been given to my family that I am now either living out or am carrying? Are the dreams that God has put on my heart been given to my relatives before me?

This then makes me think about my own life and the choices I make. The main choice I have is whether to follow Jesus or not. When I choose to follow Jesus, I lay down my own life and dreams and take up my cross. But instead of this being a negative thing, what I am in fact doing is allowing God to be my Lord (or boss) and let him govern my life. Again, this can have negative connotations, but what we are in fact saying is that we want our lives to be lived in the way they were supposed to be. To carry and fulfill the promises that God has for us, without us getting in the way. We then allow the story of God to continue in our lives that His Kingdom would come and His name glorified. Another word for this is Humility.

This is both amazing yet mysterious. It leaves us with a healthy fear-of-the-Lord, where we realise that we did not choose God, but He chose us.

Maybe our choice is not in fact to choose Jesus like some commercial brand, but to accept our position in creation and to live our lives in obedience to the creator and his sovereign plan. This is where we find life in all its fullness.

Compassion in suffering

Last Saturday I woke up with a funny tummy. It just didn't feel right. A visit to the toilet confirmed my fears, I was not well. As the day continued, I progressively got worse.

Between the hours of 11am and 3pm, I was vomiting every 20 minutes. I don't know where it was coming from. I was hot, then cold. I was sweating cold drops of water, which ran down my pale face. The only two places I visited were my bed and the toilet. It was not pleasant.

Inbertween each heave, I would groan a prayer to God "Please make it stop. No more", and it was during one of these times that God really spoke to me. As I knelt in my place of suffering (over the toilet!), God began to give me compassion for those who I know, and even those I don't, who have to live with physical suffering daily.

See, in the back of my mind, I knew that what I had was just a temporary thing. I had experienced tummy bugs before and knew it would stop (well at least I hoped it would), yet many deal with sickness where there seems no end. Terminal cancer, diabetes, epilepsy. Serious, painful conditions.

How do they cope? Where is their hope?

So as I knelt there, I found myself praying on behalf of others. I could feel their pain, albeit temporarily, and it sucked and I let God know this!

I don't want to be ill again soon, but I just found it amazing that in my place of pain and suffering, I was able to cry out for others. It just reminded me that Jesus understands our pain and suffering as he experienced it while he was here on earth as he was beaten and crucified for us.

It's given me a new perspective on what the cross means as Jesus intercedes for us now from heaven, with the scars still in his hands and side. It's also given me a fresh compassion for those who are suffering physically. I have so much respect for them.

There is a day coming when there will be no more pain and suffering. Lord, let it be soon. Amen.

I don't like cricket, i love it!

Last week I was involved in a cricket final. Check out this link for more info.

A piece on peace

Before I start writing (although technically I already have), I would like to make a few apologies. Firstly, for my lack of posts over the summer (been quite busy) and secondly, for the title of this post (it seemed appropriate for the content).

Ok, so I'm back in Guildford, with a new Transit year starting next week and I've found some room to breathe a bit. It's been a bit manic the last few weeks finalising the curriculum, sorting out things for the houses, arranging transport etc. I do really enjoy it (in a weird kinda way), but mid-way through this week just gone, I found myself exhausted, not sleeping well, worrying about the 'what-ifs' and running all the worse case scenarios through my head. The worries and anxieties were really beginning to overwhelm me. Then on Wednesday night, we had a small gathering at our house to eat, pray and worship together and God just reminded me how much rest and peace there is in his presence. As I took my eyes off myself and my own problems and focused them on Him, they didn't look so big anymore. I was able just to sit and soak in His love, not feeling that I had to earn it, but just enjoy it and as I did, my burdens were lifted from me.

As I look back over these last mad few years, I can see again and again that he has given me peace when I have needed it. He hasn't always changed the circumstance or made the problems go away, but he allows us to face them them with a peace that our God is bigger than these things and that He is in control.

Philippians 4:6-7 says "Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Wow! What a promise. It's in God's presence, when we commune (share thoughts and feelings) with him, when we worship Him (even when we don't feel like it) that we find peace. A peace that doesn't make sense to us. A peace that guards our hearts and minds from further attack and allows us to see God as He should be seen, in control of all things!

I'm holding onto this promise again as I enter another busy season of life. I pray too that you would know His peace in your life and that the stresses and strains that we experience from day-to-day would not overwhelm you, but that you would know the Father's joy and love for you in a real way.

Amen.

The Log Carrier

I'm sat outside our prayer room here in Guildford, and find myself with a bit of time to blog! My last few weeks have been so busy as we finished this years Transit (2006-2007) and began to plan for next year's, as well as planning for a mission training time with 24-7 (which we are in the middle of), which mainly consisted of trying to accommodate 25 people from all over the world around the city, so I apologise for my lack of writing. Looking back, I don't know how I kept going as I was juggling all of these things. His Grace is enough I suppose!

There have been many moments I could share with you about God's goodness, provision and guiding from the last few weeks, but one moment in particular has really stood out for me and given me great encouragement.

A couple of weeks ago, I took the Transit guys to the Gower in South Wales for a time of reflection and fun. A time to just enjoy each other and the beautiful creation around us before we went our seperate ways. One night, we decided to have a bonfire up on the hill and needed to get some wood for it. One of the guys remembered seeing some big pieces on the beach the night before and suggested that we walk down and get them. He did warn us that we might need two people per log as they may be heavy.

'No problem' I thought.

So a few of us started out on the 5 minute walk to the beach through the grass and the dunes. When we were about half way there, one of the walking party remembered what the logs that we were fetching were like and started to panic a bit, while trying his best to convince us that it wasn't worth the effort and that we should just have the fire on the beach instead. But our leader had other ideas.

'We will be fine', he said.

So I continued to follow. When we got to the beach, I started to appreciate the apprehension of the others. These logs were big, pointy and awkward. But, I wanted to support my friend. He had a vision, which I could see meant a lot to him. We loaded the weighty log onto our shoulders with a grunt of effort and started out on our journey.

After 20 minutes of carrying, dropping, pain and encouragement, we reached our pit. We gave out a moan as the log fell one last time from our shoulders and hugged each other, with a few back slaps thrown in for good measure. What a great feeling! We did it! We were dripping with sweat, covered in cuts and unable to lift our arms above shoulder height (they were bruised for days after), yet it felt so good.

That night, we had an amazing bonfire, which everyone enjoyed. Stories were told, marshmallows eaten and hands warmed. A memorable last night together.

The next day as I stood in the shower (which I shared with a few spiders and a rabbit briefly that morning), God spoke to me through the previous days events.

For a long time now, I have struggled with the idea of me being a leader as I have been told that they must have vision and lead from the front, which I think is true, but have never really felt described me very well. Sure, I have dreams and ideas, but I've always seen them as very general and nothing really that grand. What God gave me in the shower that morning was my vision. He showed me that my role in life is to be a log carrier. By this I mean, a supporter and carrier of other people's vision's.

My friend had a vision. To carry a log from the beach to our fire pit. He could not do it alone and needed someone to go through the pain and ultimately the joy of seeing that vision come to fruition. I had to stand with him when others were doubting and push him on when he was struggling. He also did the same for me. There were many times we had to stop on our journey and take a breather and then will each other on a bit more. To see and feel his joy at the end, gave me a sense of joy too. To experience his pain was also important. As I said, my shoulders were bruised for days afterwards, but now they are fine. They were marks of our journey.

God was showing me, that he wants me to be a carrier and supporter of other people's vision's. To journey with other's and see them live out the calling that God has for them. Ultimately, it's not about me, but about God and His plan for others. The great thing is that if others do this for me, then suddenly we have a community that loves and supports each other and who long to see God outwork the plan He has for each other's lives come to fruition.

This really excites me as I think about what God is birthing around the world with Boiler Rooms and other such communities as we seek to live this life before us with others under God's guiding. I find it liberating to know that there isn't just one type of leader and that we don't have to be someone we are not. God knows our strengths and weaknesses and places us in communities were they can be complimented by others (a bit like a body).

I pray that we would all become log carriers for others and that together, we would see God's Kingdom come in our towns and cities as we support and love one another.

Amen.