Why do I pray?

I've been blown away recently by God's grace and the way in which he answers our prayers. I've seen God provide money for both myself and others in the last few weeks, I've seen him heal my Grandfather from Leukemia and I've really been aware of the ways in which he has been constantly moulding and changing lives for the better.

It's been amazing, but also quite sobering at the same time. Sobering in the fact that when he has moved, I've reacted with surprise and often scepticism.

An example of this would be the healing of my Grandfather. For months now he has been suffering with Leukemia, which has eaten away at his body and robbed him of his strength (but not his humour!). I have been praying everyday for him, asking God to ease his pain and give peace to the family. When I was feeling a bit bolder, I would pray for his healing, although I think I had resigned myself to him not making it. He's old and cheated death before. Maybe this is his time?

So when God healed him I found myself in this mix of amazement and shock. I didn't expect him to be healed! But thankfully God had different ideas. Even in my unbelief, God answered my prayers.

I find comfort in the fact that this wasn't a dissimilar problem in the Bible either. Two examples spring to mind.

Firstly, there is the story of Zechariah in Luke ch1. Zec had been praying for years for a son, yet when an angel came to tell him that his prayer had been heard and God would give him and his Barron wife a son, he questioned the angel on the basis of their age!

What was he thinking?

When God heard his cry and answered his prayer, he rejected it. He questioned it. He doubted it. As a result of this he was dumb for the whole of the pregnancy, so that he could have time to think things over!

The other example is in Acts 12. In response to the arrest of Peter for preaching the gospel, the believers gather to pray for him long into the night. As they are praying, an angel comes and frees Peter from prison. Peter rushes to the house where they are meeting and knocks the door. A servant girl answers the door, sees Peter, and rushes back to everyone leaving Peter at the door (pure comedy). When the rest of the people hear the girl's story, they react with scepticism.

'You're out of your mind'. 'It must be his angel'.

They had found it easier to believe that it was his angel than the real thing. Again, why had they been praying? Why were they so surprised?

Through both my own experiences and these stories, God has really been challenging me about my prayer life.

Why do I pray?

Do I really believe God will answer my prayers?

Am I afraid to pray to big?

Am I ready for God to answer my prayers?

It is clear that we serve a good God who answers prayers (maybe not always in the way we want him to), even when our faith is small, but how much more is there? This is an exciting yet daunting thought. Could God really change a city around? Could he really use me?

The person that inspires me most when it comes to listening and obeying God is Mary the mother of Jesus. This is her response to the angel when he reveals that she will be the mother to the Messiah, through the conception of the Holy Spirit (craziness!):

"I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said." (Luke1:38 NIV)

She then busts out into a song, worshipping God. She chose to trust God. Amazing!

The challenge for us is not to be afraid to pray big prayers and then when they are answered, having the attitude of Mary that is humble and obedient, full of praise to God, not full of doubt and scepticism.

I pray that you would know more of God's grace in your life and would live with his praise being continuously on your lips as you dare to pray and believe.