DJ Friar

Painful Questions

2010-09-28T10:42:00.002Z

Life is hard. Life is painful. Life can change in a moment.

In the past few weeks, many of my friends have experienced situations that have left them with painful questions;

How could God allow this to happen?

I thought He loved me?

Will life get any better?

Is He angry with me?

How can I move on from here?

How can I trust Him again?

I feel that I should have the answers, but often I don't. Their questions cause me to question too. Where is God in all of this mess?

What I do recognise, is that these painful questions are prayers. Even when it feels like God has let us down and left us, we still call out to him. Even when we tell ourselves He doesn't exist, we want to believe He does.

My friend Pete wrote a book called 'God On Mute' about his struggle with unanswered prayer and the suffering it brings. I highly recommend it. Honest, humble, yet full of hope.

Magnify!

2010-07-13T15:45:00.004Z

Click on the link for more info!

Peter Hitchens Interview

2010-05-14T13:50:00.001Z

Check out this video by a guy called Peter Hitchens, as he talks about his journey to faith.

Disillusionment

2010-05-04T11:19:00.014Z

We will all have times in our lives where we feel slightly uneasy and disillusioned about life.

These are often times when we have stopped to reflect and often compare ourselves with others, or the person we hoped to be. We may have had dreams and aspirations, but have found ourselves on a path that we didn't expect or necessarily wanted to follow. This can sometimes occur through bad decisions that may have been made by ourselves or by others on our behalf, but most of the time it seems that it's just the way life is!

It's a scary and disorienting time and can lead us to making drastic decisions and changes in a bid to rescue what we feel we have lost or missed out on. This could range from buying a sports car, a career change, going sky diving or in a worst case scenario divorce or suicide where even life itself has been questioned.

We may also feel disillusioned by people or systems that we trust, which is a major factor for political upheavals and/or wars. Of course, governments would rather people didn't question the status quo and make every effort to keep up the illusion that they know what they are doing and have everything under control!

For those who are people of faith, it can lead to very big questions about the meaning of life too. Where is God? Is there a God? How could He let this happen? Does He care?

So what does disillusionment mean?

"a freeing or a being freed from illusion or conviction."

So to be disillusioned is to be freed, but from what?

- Illusion -"something that deceives by producing a false or misleading impression of reality."

- Conviction - "a fixed or firm belief."

This definition seems to suggest that the process of disillusionment is a positive experience. It suggests that we have been believing a lie and that through this process we are able to see through it. But often, this experience leads to fear and insecurity as we begin to see that everything we have banked on in life, can't actually support us. A recent example may be the recession and the failings of the banks.

So who can we trust? Who can we turn to for the real answers? Where can we find truth?

Jesus would often start his sentences with the phrase "I tell you the truth..." He could obviously see people who were a little disillusioned with life and were looking for answers. They may have been disillusioned with the Romans who ruled over them or the religious systems that demanded so much from them or things had happened in their life that had forced them to ask questions. They were looking for a way of life that would be fulfilling and not oppressive, but also attainable.

Jesus also described Himself as 'the truth' (John 14:6) and pointed to the Holy Spirit as someone who 'would guide into all truth' (John 16:13). God is revealing Himself as someone we can trust, someone we can pin our hopes on, someone who will not let us down, someone we won't be deceived by.

So why is it then that we sometimes feel disillusioned with God?

If we go back to the definition, it would seem that this would leave us open to questioning God as a firm belief in our lives. What if it's all been a lie? What if there is no God and all the decisions I've made have been for nothing? Have I been wasting time?

But what if our disillusionment was not with God Himself, rather a god we have created?

This is why I think disillusionment in the Christian faith is such a healthy process, as we strip back all of the periphery stuff and get to the heart of the matter. We question who God is, what the church is about, why we take part in the practices we do, why there is suffering, and who we are in the midst of all that.

I believe that when we come to that place, we will get answers to our questions. We may find that a lot of the things we thought about God and what it means to follow Jesus were illusions and that God is leading us through disillusionment, in order to find the truth in Jesus.

Are we a Church that encourages and supports those who are disillusioned or do we label them as bad apples that may cause problems?

Are we willing to be childlike and ask the big questions without an agenda behind it?

Are you willing to be 'changed by the renewing of your mind' (Romans 12:2)?

I'm sure there are many more things I could write on this, but here are my initial thoughts. Would love to open a conversation on the comments page if anyone wants to join?

What are your experiences of disillusionment?

Have you ever seen it as a positive process?

e.t.c, e.t.c...

Real Life Starts Now

2010-04-26T10:26:00.001Z

Having just written my last blog post, I listened to this podcast by friends in the States, which I think compliments and supports what I have been feeling well.

http://campusamerica.org/assets/178/original/Addressing_the_lie_that_real_life_starts_later.mp3

Being Present

2010-04-26T09:28:00.006Z

What do you think of when you think of the future? How does it make you feel?

I'm someone who likes to have plans and answers to questions.

I'm more comfortable with things being completed and decisions being made, then open ended situations.

I like it when there is clarity and when there are goals to achieve.

I like order and the ability to clearly communicate what I am internally processing.

So when I think of the future, it causes me to panic slightly.

Why?

There is no definite. I can make plans, but they often change. Basically, I can't control my future.

So, during my unexpected break that was last week, I found myself asking God a lot of questions about the future.

What job will I have? Where will I live? Who will I be living with? etc, etc.

In my search for answers, I just found myself getting more and more worked up and frustrated as the questions branched out to other questions. I started to get down on myself, wondering if I'd wasted my life so far, wondering what I had actually achieved, which lead to the question of whether there is a God after all!

Once I'd finished my little moan, I felt God remind me again of the simplicity and beauty of his calling for each one of us;

John 15:12 - "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

This command of Jesus to His disciples reminds us that there is a world around us. A world that gives us the opportunity to love, just as Jesus loves us. In the midst of my despair, I had been focussing solely on myself and was begining to get lost in the future, which I might not even reach.

The command to love others daily calls us to be present in the world around us.

In the midst of my worrying, I had become camped in the future, where people and situations are fictitous and are dictated by my emotions and imagination. Jesus knew this would be a problem and so encouraged His followers by saying;

²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^{b]" style=" line-height: 0.5em; ">[b]}?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Each day has enough trouble and opportunities to seek first His kingdom, that we shouldn't be concerned by the future. Of course, it's good to have dreams and goals in life, but hold them lightly. Don't get so lost in them that you neglect those you live with or next to; those you work and socialise with; those that you walk past everyday.

It's made me realise that there are so many opportunities to love each day, but often I miss out because I'm distracted by the fear of tomorrow.

The danger with not being present is that we will never commit to anyone or anywhere in case something better turns up or it doesn't fit with our plans.

But how will we learn and grow if we don't engage in the immediate world around us?

It may be true that you feel led to live in a foreign country in a couple of years, but does that stop you loving your neighbour today? Does that stop you being a voice for the voiceless in your community today? Does that stop you discipling the young people on your streets today?

As always, our great example of being present and loving daily is God Himself in the person of Jesus.

John 1:14 - ¹⁴The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.

God chose to limit Himself and put on our skin, so that He could love us in a way that could be reproduced. His mission was ultimately to die for the sins of the world, but that didn't stop Him loving the people He was around everyday, bringing the Kingdom of God to earth.

It doesn't matter if you don't feel 'equipped' or not, because Jesus has left us the Holy Spirit and He lives and works in and through us. Don't let the lie that you are not good enough hold you back from loving well!

The challenge for us is to look around a bit more each day and say to God "Who can I love today? Let your Kingdom come!" and allow each day to become a piece of a jigsaw that God is putting together, without us having to worry about what the picture is!

Note - Learn what the best way to love the people around you are and do them, whether that's washing the dishes or leaving cards. It takes a little bit of effort, but it's worth it! Don't just assume everyone gives and receives love the same way you do, although ultimately it is a heart thing and not a formula!

If God could do that...

2010-04-21T14:03:00.004Z

I was reminded of and encouraged by this Philip Yancey quote today;

‘There are two ways to look at human history, I have concluded. One way is to focus on the wars and violence, the squalor, the pain and tragedy and death. From such a point of view, Easter seems a fairy-tale exception, a stunning contradiction in the name of God … There is another way to look at the world. If I take Easter as the starting point, the one incontrovertible fact about how God treats those whom we loves, then human history becomes the contradiction and Easter a preview of ultimate reality. Hope then flows like lava beneath the crust of daily life. This, perhaps, describes the change in the disciples’ perspective as they sat in locked rooms discussing the incomprehensible events of Easter Sunday. In one sense nothing had changed: Rome still occupied Palestine … death and evil still reigned outside. Gradually, however, the shock of recognition gave way to a long slow undertow of joy. If God could do that …’

What now?

2010-04-19T11:00:00.002Z

As the dust cloud continues to cause chaos across Europe, many people's plans for the coming week are looking slightly different and ever more unpredictable then before. For many, I imagine, this is a frustrating time as they need to return to work, meet that friend they haven't seen for a while or just have a shower, but I'd like to think (as the dust settles!), we could see this as a moment of opportunity in our different situations.

In a world that is becoming ever more ordered and predictable, how to we cope with unexpected change?

For me personally, my week looks a lot different as a course I was due to be hosting has been postponed due to half of the attendees being stuck in Ireland. This has left me asking the question 'What now?', which I don't think is a bad thing.

I'm suddenly looking to God for what to do with this free time.

Where does He want me? Who can I be praying for? Who can I serve? Where do I go from here?

The shame is, I should really be asking these questions on a daily basis, but unfortunately I don't, as the diary fills up and my agenda takes over. This is why an enforced 'Sabbath' every so often isn't a bad thing (normally for me it's illness so this makes a nice change!).

I'm not saying God has planned this volcano to go off so that we can all learn a few lessons, but there do seem to be a few we can learn from this situation.

We are not in control, it is God who directs our steps and everyday is an opportunity for us to follow his direction, not just when we feel we need it.

So my challenge for you (whether you have been affected by the ash or not) is to ask 'What now?' of God. What does He want your week to look like? Who can you love and prefer this week? How can His Kingdom come in your situation?

Be prepared for a little adventure!

(I would love to hear of any stories that do come out of this!)

Do you trust me?

2010-04-16T09:31:00.002Z

Do you trust me?

Do you trust me when the future seems unsure?

Do you trust me when you don't have the answers?

Do you trust me when your own thoughts and feelings conflict?

Do you trust me when nothing seems to be going right?

Do you trust me when life seems to have hit a dead end?

Do you trust me that I have your best intentions in mind?

Do you trust me that I know you better then you know yourself?

Do you trust me enough to let go, instead of taking control?

Do you trust me?

The importance of story!

2010-03-31T09:53:00.001Z

Here is a great talk by Don Miller on the power and importance of story in our lives.

http://vimeo.com/10161522

What is your passion?

2010-03-26T11:59:00.002Z

Over the last few weeks, I've found myself having a few conversations around the area of 'passion'. Most people I have spoken to have expressed a concern that they either don't have a passion or don't see themselves as passionate people. This is something I used to think of myself too, until I looked at what the word 'passion' actually meant;

Passion: from the Latin verb patior, meaning to suffer or to endure.

I always thought that unless you were a person who was always clenching their fist and shouting 'Come on!' (think Tim Henman), you weren't a passionate person or weren't passionate about what you did. Now those actions can be responses to a passion, but they are not what defines the passion.

When we look at this definition, we see that passion is rooted in suffering and the willingness to endure it.

To be passionate is to be willing to endure suffering and to have a passion for something or someone is to endure that suffering for the sake of it.

We all have things in our life that we are willing to spend most of our time, money and energy on, whether that be our families, our football team or cooking for people. We are willing to endure the suffering of going that extra mile in order to persue that activity or person because we are passionate about it.

If you are someone who struggles to find their passion in life, then it's often helpful to ask someone else, as they will be able to see what you are willing to suffer for (as often they don't see the point in it!).

We are all passionate about something!

As we near Easter, we are reminded that Jesus was willing to endure suffering for us and that He calls us to do the same for those around us. Indeed, the word 'compassion' means 'shared suffering' and as we look out to a world that is suffering, we are called to be there with them in that place, in order that we may bring the hope of the Resurrection that followed.

So, what are you passions? What and who are you willing to suffer for? Are you willing to suffer on behalf of others?

Ask God to reveal His passion for you and for the world around you!

Finding life in our surroundings...

2010-02-26T09:55:00.003Z

An American businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied only a little while.

The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish.

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time.

The Mexican fisherman said, 'I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.'

The American scoffed, 'I have a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York where you will run your expanding enterprise.'

The Mexican fisherman asked, 'But Senor, how long will this all take?'

To which the American replied, 'Fifteen to twenty years.'

'But what then, senor?' asked the Mexican.

The American laughed, and said, 'That's the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public. You'll become very rich, you would make millions!'

'Millions, senor?' replied the Mexican. 'Then what?'

The American said, 'Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.'

(Story taken from God360 by Andy Flannagan)

Please don't stop the music!

2010-02-23T14:39:00.003Z

It only hit me the other day how important music is to my life and to many others! I love to listen to music whenever I can and often find that certain songs remind me of certain times in my life. When revising for exams, I couldn't concentrate unless I was listening to music, although in all honesty, there is always a song playing in my head (hence the constant air drums)!

It always amazes me how music (and singing) can often take us to a deeper level of fun, celebration and, at times, sorrow! It has the ability to heighten our awareness towards our emotions and gives them an avenue in which to express themselves, whether that's in song, playing or through dance (we can all dance!).

I love the way God has given us the ability to be creative and in particular to explore this phenomenon we call music!

Ecclesiastes

2010-01-27T16:56:00.002Z

I think Ecclesiastes is becoming one of my most favourite books of the Old Testament. For many, it is unpopular as it seems very negative and pessimistic, but I find it touches on the deepest question of all;

'What is life all about?'

The writer of the book is believed to be King Solomon, who was the 3rd king of Israel after Saul and his father David. He had inherited much from his father, but built on it further with wise political decisions. His reign started well, with the building of the Temple and his proclamation of God being at the centre of their Kingdom, but as he acquired more wealth, wives and horses (which kings were warned about in Deuteronomy), his focus soon became blurred.

So at the end of his prosperous and what would seem on the surface, successful life, we find him writing the book of Ecclesiastes as he reflects on what has been.

1:2 - "Everything is meaningless," says the teacher, "completely meaningless!"

This is not the sort of start you would expect from a great leaders autobiography!

But, after explaining that everything he has tried (wealth, jobs, wisdom, companionship) left him feeling hopeless, he concludes in verse 13 of chapter 12;

"Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone's duty."

At the end of his life, Solomon can see that life is short and many of the things we seek and desire from the world around us are temporary and ultimately unfulfilling, but that with an understanding of God and the things he asks us to do in this life and in the hope we have after, we find meaning and fulfilment.

Check out Ecclesiastes for yourself and try and read it through the eyes of your friends and family who are searching for meaning in life.

Maybe that person is you?

Life is meaningless...without the meaning and worth that Jesus has given it!

Boenhoffer on Disillusionment with Community...

2010-01-15T16:57:00.000Z

"Inumerable times a whole Christian community has broken down because it had sprung from a wish dream. The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and try to realize it. But God's grace speedily shatters such dreams. Just as surely as God desires to lead us to knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves.

By sheer grace, God will not permit us to live even for a brief period in a dream world. He does not abandon us to those rapturous experiences and lofty moods that come over us like a dream. God is not a God of the emotions but the God of truth. Only that fellowship which faces such disillusionment, with all its unhappy and ugly aspects, begins to be what it should be in God's sight, begins to grasp in faith the promise that is given to it. The sooner this shock of disillusionment comes to an individual and to a community the better for both. A community which cannot bear and cannot survive such a crisis, which insists upon keeping its illusion when it should be shattered, permanently loses in that moment the promise of Christian community. Sooner or later it will collapse. Every human wish dream that is injected into the Christian community is a hinderance to genuine community and must be banished if genuine community is to survive. He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intetntions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial.

God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly. He stands adamant, a living reproach to all others in the cirlce of brethren. He acts as if he is the creator of the Christian community, as if his dream binds men together. When things do not go his way, he calls the effort a failure. When his ideal picture is destroyed, he sees the community going to smash. So he becomes, first an accuser of his brethren, then an accuser of God, and finally the despairing accuser of himself.

Because God has already laid the only foundation of our fellowship, because God has bound us together in one body with other Christians in Jesus Christ, long before we entered into common life with them, we enter into that common life not as demanders but as thankful recipients. We thank God for what He has done for us. We thank God for giving us brethren who live by His call, by His forgiveness and His promise. We do not complain of what God does not give us; we rather thank God for what He does give us daily. And is not what he has been given us enough: brothers, who will go on living with us through sin and need under the blessing of His grace? Is the divine gift of Christian fellowship anything less than this, any day, even the most difficult and distressing day? Even when sin and misunderstanding burden the communal life, is not the sinning brother still a brother, with whom I, too, stand under the Word of Christ? Will not his sin be a constant occasion for me to give thanks that both of us may live in the forgiving love of God in Jesus Christ? Thus the very hour of disillusionment with my brother becomes incomparably salutary, because it so thoroughly teaches me that neither of us can ever live by our own words and deeds, but only by that one Word and Deed which really binds us together - the forgiveness of sins in Jesus Christ. When the morning mists of dreams vanish, then dawns the bright day of Christian fellowship."

Jean Vanier on Authority...

2010-01-14T18:47:00.002Z

"The role of authority can only be understood if it is seen as one of the many gifts or ministries which we need to build a community. It is, of course, a very important gift, because the community's well being and growth depend to a great extent on the way it is exercised. But too often authority is seen as the only gift; the role of everyone else in the community is seen simply as obedience to it. This, however, is an industrial or military model of authority. In a community, authority needs to be exercised in a completely different way. The leaders do not have a monopoly on insights and gifts; their role on the contrary, is to help all the community's members to exercise their own gifts for the good of the whole. A community can only become a harmonious whole, with 'one heart, one soul, one spirit', if all its members are exercising their own gifts fully. If the model of their relationship to authority is worker to boss, or soldier to officer, then there is no understanding of what community means."

Community and Growth

2010-01-12T10:27:00.002Z

I'm currently reading 'Community and Growth' by Jean Vanier. It's a great book based on his experience of living with others in intentional community houses with the mentally handicapped and their helpers over the last 50 years or so. He has some excellent insights and the wisdom he brings comes from experince rather than just theory. I've found it very challenging.

There are many quotes I could write, but one that really struck me the other day is as follows;

"If we are in community only to 'do things', it's daily life will not nourish us; we will be constantly thinking ahead, because we can always find something urgent to be done. If we live in a poor neighbourhood or with people in distress, we are constantly challenged. Daily life is only nourishing when we have discovered the wisdom of the present moment and the presence of God in small things. It is only nourishing when we have given up fighting reality and accept it, discovering the message and gift of the moment. If we see housework, or cooking simply as chores which have to be got through, we will get tired and irritable; we will not be able to see the beauty around us. But if we discover that we live with God and our brothers and sisters through what has to be done in the present moment, we become peaceful. We stop looking to the future; we take time to live. We are no longer in a hurry because we have discovered that there is gift and grace in the present of the book-keeping, the meetings, the chores and the welcome."

As I've made an effort to slow down and be thankful to God for the simple things of the day, I've found that I have experienced the peace that Vanier talks about.

A lot of what I do in my job is planning for the future and looking ahead and I often forget to acknowledge the present. I mainly find this with regards to relationships. If the person in front of me isn't going to help me achieve my goal, then I don't often give them time and effort.

I live very strongly with agendas that are future focused.

I struggle to live in the mundane mess of everyday.

But I want to. I want to be thankful for the simple things. I want to live in the moment more. This doesn't mean I don't think or plan for the future, but it shouldn't come at the expense of the joys of today.

Each day is a gift that I'm keen to enjoy!

Old stuff...

2010-01-11T11:59:00.002Z

I found this poem on my myspace page (does everyone remember myspace, poor dabs!), which must have been written about 4 years ago. I think it still describes where I am pretty well;

Deeper than I dare know.
Struggling to keep myself on track.
Clinging to the one I know will Love.
Daring to move into the unknown so that I may know life.
Desperate for more than I've known.
Simple life.
Complex world.
Finding the balance of seclusion and exposure.
Unlocking others.
Standing strong with weak knees.
Focus on the unchangable.
Pulled into comfort.
Battling to stay out.
Trying to live up to the status I have been given.
Laughing all the while.
Waiting in anticipation for what is ahead........

Floyd McClung on the Church...

2009-12-29T13:38:00.000Z

“God is busy revealing himself to the world, through the church. Not through institutions or programmes or buildings, but through simple, ordinary people, people willing to give up their broken lives in exchange for his life lived through them.”

Frustration

2009-12-16T11:12:00.003Z

Often confused,
Not knowing the future.
Want to take control,
But not for the best.
Making mistakes,
And learning slowly.
Want to know more,
Want to get closer.
Situation denies,
Out of my hands.
The more I try,
The worse it gets.
Need to let go.
Release.
But I get frustrated,
I want it now.
Lose sight of the future,
What lies ahead.
Plenty of time,
Plenty to do.
Be thankful,
It could be worse!

Morning Liturgy

2009-12-09T10:55:00.001Z

(Moment of silence)

Today Jesus,

May I have your eyes,
That see the world from your perspective.
May I have your ears,
That hear those who are crying out in need.
May I have your mouth,
That speaks life and truth into the situations I face.
May I have your arms,
That are willing to carry those who need support.
May I have your hands,
That are willing to serve at all times.
May I have your legs,
That stand firm in the midst of trials.
May I have your feet,
That are willing to go wherever the Spirit leads me.

(Bible reading for the day)

Today, I will wait patiently for you Lord.
I will be brave and courageous, by your grace,
And wait patiently for you.
For I am confident that I will see your goodness,
While I am here in this place.

Amen.

(The second half of the prayer is taken from Psalm 27)

Sunrise

2009-12-07T11:44:00.001Z

The sun sets slowly in the sky,
Heavy like my heart,
And it will weigh much heavier still,
The longer we’re apart.

For as the darkness settles,
The fears begin to grow,
“Does she think about me?
“Am I scared to know?”

The moon and stars bring comfort,
Their light a sign of hope.
But these are only temporary,
A way for me to cope.

For when the morning breaks at dawn,
The sun will gather pace,
And once again I will be stunned,
by the beauty of her face.

And so I sit in silence,
The night my only friend,
And look forward to the sunrise,
My aching heart to mend.

Poetry

2009-12-07T11:41:00.002Z

Recently, I've started writing poetry again. I've always this a great way to put my thoughts down in a way that engages my heart as well as my head.

My next few posts will be examples of poetry I have written recently...

Eugene Peterson on the Fear-of-the-Lord...

2009-12-03T14:41:00.001Z

"Fear-of-the-Lord is the cultivated awareness of the 'more and other' that the presence or revelation of God introduces into our lives: I am not the centre of my existence; I am not the sum-total of what matters; I don’t know what will happen next."

Pearl S. Buck on Hope...

2009-11-26T12:38:00.000Z

"None who have always been free can understand the terrible fascinating power of the hope of freedom to those who are not free."

Lin Yutang on Hope...

2009-11-19T15:36:00.001Z

"Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence."

Elizabeth Gilbert on Hope...

2009-11-19T15:33:00.001Z

"The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams."

Hope

2009-11-11T12:11:00.002Z

Hope is 'the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best'.

I've been thinking a lot about hope over the last few weeks. I've especially been looking at it in light of the Gospel and faith.

What is the Gospel without the hope that Jesus brings through his death and resurrection and what is faith without the hope that comes from knowing a loving Father who can do anything.

Indeed, the opposite of hope is hopelessness and this has to be one of the worst places to be. A place where you have resigned yourself to a position that cannot and will not change. This position is often known as a stronghold;

“Any idea or thought impregnated or full of hopelessness, that causes us to think that something is true, contrary to the word and will of God.’

To combat this we need to have a revelation of the truth found in the character of God, the example of Jesus and the working of the Holy Spirit. We need others to encourage and to speak this truth to us and live it with us.

If we, as the Church, are not sharing and modelling a message of hope to this world, then what are we?

Paul's letter to the Romans talks a lot of this hope, so check that out! Here is a snippet;

Romans 5
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

I will also put up some quotes from people on this subject of hope.

Thomas A Kempis quote...

2009-10-22T15:55:00.002Z

"The more humble a man is in himself, the more obedient toward God, the wiser will he be in all things, and the more shall his soul be at peace."

Humility in Daily Life

2009-10-20T13:17:00.004Z

For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 1 John 4:20.

"It is a solemn thought that our love for God is measured by our everyday relationships with others. Except as its validity is proven in standing the test of daily life with our fellowmen, our love for God may be found to be a delusion. It is easy to think that we humble ourselves before God, but our humility toward others is the only sufficient proof that our humility before God is real. To be genuine, humility must abide in us and become our very nature.

True humility is to be made of no reputation - as did Christ. In God's presence, humility is not a posture we assume for a time - when we think of Him or pray to Him -but the very spirit of our life.

It will manifest itself in all our bearing toward others. A lesson of deepest importance is that the only humility that is really ours is not the kind we carry with us, and carry out, in our ordinary conduct. The seemingly insignificant acts of daily life are the tests of eternity, because they prove what spirit possesses us.

It is in our most unguarded moments that we truly show who we are and what we are made of.

To know a truly humble person, you must follow that one in the common course of daily life."

Taken from Humility by Andrew Murray.

Romance

2009-10-09T13:35:00.005Z

What do you think of when you hear the word romance?

My guess is that it sounds different to different people depending on their cultural background, romantic experience and/or gender.

As a Western hetrosexual male, romance has become a way of expressing love that involves taking that special woman for long walks, or having a candle lit dinner or buying them flowers. It is something that films and books have used to create an ideal scenario of the expression of love.

This in itself is not bad, but it does then leave me feeling a little uneasy when I find that God wants to romance me!

Can God love me romantically!?!

As always, I turned to the dictionary to find out the meaning of the word romance to see if that could help me in any way;

"a pleasurable feeling of excitement and wonder associated with love."

As I read this definition, I began to see how God can romance me. There are times when I don't feel excited about living for God and I have lost that sense of wonder that captures my mind and leads me to a place of worship. I can just sense that something is missing.

The important part of this sentence is that it is associated with love, and maybe this is where our western culture has created the distortion in my mind.

Love has become just a feeling. It seems to be something that changes overnight and is used for expressing our affection both for our football team as well as our loved ones. I suppose that's the problem when you only have one word that expresses many different emotions and actions.

What does the bible say about love?

1 John 3:16 says 'This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.'

The bible says a lot about love and most of it comes in the context of sacrifice. We love when we lay ourselves down for others. It's not about what we get, but about what we give.

When God romances us, he wants to give us a pleasureable feeling of excitement and wonder through the ultimate expression of love, which is the cross.

John 3:16 says 'For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.'

God's motivation for the death of His son on the cross was love. He gave himself, so that you might live. He now asks us to go and love in the same way. Giving our lives for others.

Surely, this is the greatest romance story ever told!

Allow God to romance you today as He reminds you of His love for you in the life, death and ressurrection of His son Jesus Christ.

Allow your hearts to be filled with excitement and wonder as He reveals His love for you!

Blog recommendation

2009-09-29T14:29:00.002Z

I don't often do this, but I would really like to point you in the direction of a blog that my friend Charl keeps. She has recently moved to Reading and runs a coffee shop on a housing estate there. She is an everyday person like you or me, but she has said to God that she wants to make a difference and she is beginning to see the answer to that prayer.

http://adventuresofaspartan.tumblr.com/

Sabbath

2009-09-17T09:14:00.002Z

As part of the discipleship course I help to run, we spend 9 months going through the bible, following it's narrative.

We call it 'God's Story' because that's what the bible is!

It's the story of who God is, how He interacts with His creation and what His plan is for the world. It's proved to be a really powerful way to read the bible as it helps prevent the bible from being that intimidating book on the shelf and uncovers the really exciting and interesting story that we now find ourselves in!

Anyway, this week we have started in Genesis (in the beginning and all that) and once again I've been struck by the importance of 'Sabbath', which is translated to mean 'Stop'.

How often do I stop?

How often do I take the time to just ask those tough questions of life?

How often do I stop and just realise I am alive?

How often do I stop and look at the stars in the sky and allow myself to get lost?

How often do I stop and just ask God how He is doing?

To Sabbath was a commandment to the Jewish people. Why? Two reasons;

1) God did (Genesis 2:1-3), which is good enough for me.

2) To remind them that they weren't slaves anymore (Deut 5:15). When the Israelites were slaves in Egypt, they worked long hours, seven days a week. By Sabbathing, they were being reminded that they were free from oppression and their identity was not in what they did or produced, but in God.

They were saved from something, for something.

I think many of us understand that we should Sabbath because God did and it's good to rest, but how many of us realise that Sabbathing is vital in understanding who we are in God.

In our Western consumeristic culture, it's so easy to fill our days with stuff (tv, shopping etc), or to work longer hours so we can have more free time in the future (which never seems to happen) or to just want to climb that corporate ladder, but is there are a danger that we are creeping back into slavery?

When we 'Shabbat' or stop from the day-to-day activities of life, we begin to realise that the world in not in our control. We again realise that we are not the centre of the universe and that there is so much more going on around us that is beyond us. We find enjoyment again in creation both in nature and in the people around us who are made in God's image.

Euguene Petersen put's it like this;

“Sabbath is a deliberate act of interference, an interruption of our week each week, a decree of no-work so that we are able to notice, to attend, to listen, to assimilate this comprehensive and majestic work of God, to orient our work in the work of God.”

To Sabbath is a deliberate act. It doesn't just happen!

My prayer for you is that you would rediscover the joy of Sabbathing and that you would find your true identity in it's midst.

What is your response to your Chrisitan fellowship?

2009-09-07T16:49:00.002Z

"If we do not give thanks daily for the Chrisitan fellowship in which we have been placed, even where there is no great experience, no discoverable riches, but much weakness, small faith, and difficulty; if on the contrary, we only keep complaining to God that everything is paltry and petty, so far from what we expected, then we hinder God from letting our fellowship grow according to the measure and riches which are there for us all in Jesus Christ." Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

Joseph Parker on Jesus...

2009-08-12T16:30:00.001Z

"Only Christ could have conceived Christ."

S.D. Gordon on Jesus...

2009-08-11T16:07:00.001Z

"Jesus is God spelling Himself out in language that men can understand."

Sholem Asch on Jesus...

2009-08-07T23:19:00.000Z

"Jesus Christ is to me the outstanding personality of all time, all history, both as Son of God and as Son of Man. Everything he ever said or did has value for us today and that is something you can say of no other man, dead or alive. There is no easy middle ground to stroll upon. You either accept Jesus or reject him."

C.S. Lewis on Jesus...

2009-08-06T16:08:00.000Z

"A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic – on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg – or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God; or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."

Charles Edward Jefferson on Jesus...

2009-08-05T20:45:00.000Z

"There is something so pure and frank and noble about Him that to doubt His sincerity would be like doubting the brightness of the sun."

Geza Vermes on Jesus...

2009-08-04T16:27:00.000Z

"An unsurpassed master of the art of laying bare the inmost core of spiritual truth."

Einstein on Jesus...

2009-07-31T08:34:00.000Z

"As a child I received instruction both in the Bible and in the Talmud. I am a Jew, but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of the Nazarene....No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of Jesus. His personality pulsates in every word. No myth is filled with such life."

J. Sidlow Baxter on Jesus...

2009-07-29T12:52:00.000Z

"Fundamentally, our Lord's message was Himself. He did not come merely to preach a Gospel; He himself is that Gospel. He did not come merely to give bread; He said, "I am the bread." He did not come merely to shed light; He said, "I am the light." He did not come merely to show the door; He said, "I am the door." He did not come merely to name a shepherd; He said, "I am the shepherd." He did not come merely to point the way; He said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life."

James C. Hefley on Jesus...

2009-07-28T11:09:00.001Z

"Here is a man who was born in an obscure village, the Child of a peasant woman. He worked in a carpenter shop until He was thirty, and then for three years He was an itinerant preacher. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never owned a home. He never had a family. He never went to college. He never put His foot inside a big city. He never traveled two hundred miles from the place where He was born. He never did one of the things that usually accompany greatness. He had no credentials but Himself. He had nothing to do with this world except the naked power of His Divine manhood. While still a young man, the tide of popular opinion turned against Him. He was turned over to His enemies. He went through the mockery of a trial. He was nailed to a Cross between two thieves. His executioners gambled for the only piece of property He had on earth while He was dying—and that was His coat. When He was dead He was taken down and laid in a borrowed grave through the pity of a friend. Such was His human life—He rises from the dead. Nineteen wide centuries have come and gone and today He is the Centerpiece of the human race and the Leader of the column of progress. I am within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, and all the navies that ever were built, and all the parliaments that ever sat, and all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as has that One Solitary Life."

H.G. Wells on Jesus...

2009-07-27T16:01:00.000Z

"I am an historian, I am not a believer, but I must confess as a historian that this penniless preacher from Nazareth is irrevocably the very center of history. Jesus Christ is easily the most dominant figure in all history."

Philip Schaff on Jesus...

2009-07-26T08:33:00.000Z

"Jesus of Nazareth, without money and arms, conquered more millions than Alexander the Great, Caesar, Mohammed, and Napoleon; without science and learning, he shed more light on things human and divine than all philosophers and scholars combined; without the eloquence of school, he spoke such words of life as were never spoken before or since, and produced effects which lie beyond the reach of orator or poet; without writing a single line, he set more pens in motion, and furnished themes for more sermons, orations, discussions, learned volumes, works of art, and songs of praise than the whole army of great men of ancient and modern times."

Gandhi on Jesus...

2009-07-25T10:41:00.000Z

"A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act."

Napoleon on Jesus...

2009-07-24T08:52:00.001Z

"I know men and I tell you that Jesus Christ is no mere man. Between Him and every other person in the world there is no possible term of comparison. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I have founded empires. But on what did we rest the creation of our genius? Upon force. Jesus Christ founded His empire upon love; and at this hour millions of men would die for Him."

Who is Jesus Christ?

2009-07-24T08:35:00.008Z

I've been challenged by this question again recently as I've being thinking about what it means to be true to Christ and to have Christ centred communities. The danger with not having a biblical answer to this question is that these phrases can become cool, throw away, catchy strap lines, with no depth, or with distortion, as we don't know fully who Jesus is and what He has done and is currently doing.

Over the summer, a few friends and I have committed to reading the Gospels again with the question 'Who is Jesus Christ?' in mind. We just want to make sure that the Jesus we claim to know, follow and put at the centre, is the Jesus of the bible and not just a figure we have created to meet our own needs.

The amazing thing about Jesus is that he continues to challenge, confuse, offend and inspire people 2,000 years after he walked the earth. It seems that most people have an opinion of him, which are mostly favourable.

Over the next few days and weeks, I'm going to post quotes from different people with their views on who Jesus is to them (http://www.tentmaker.org/Quotes/jesus-christ.htm). My hope is that they will inspire you to think about this person and to heighten your awareness of the fact that Jesus impacts and influences people, even if they wouldn't class themselves as believers and who you think he is, shapes your life.

I'd like to hear your thoughts too!

This is probably THE big question of life!

How do you treat your bible?

2009-07-22T10:01:00.002Z

"You Christians look after a document containing enough dynamite to blow all civilization to pieces, turn the world upside down, and bring peace to a battle-torn planet. But you treat it as though it is nothing more than a piece of good literature." Mohandas Gandhi

Questions

2009-07-15T09:08:00.002Z

I have found that most of my life as a christian has involved asking questions, be that either to God or to others. Some of my questions have been answered and others haven't. For a while I thought that questioning things was bad, as either it showed you didn't understand (when it always seemed that everyone else did) or it implied that you were backsliding in your faith. But I love to question things, especially why we do what we do!

This is why I can really relate to Jesus' disciples and am really glad that the writers of the Gospels included the questions they asked in their accounts. These guys were walking with Jesus on a day-to-day basis. They were witnessing first hand his miracles and were getting inside information on his teachings, yet they still had questions. Admittedly, these often seemed to irritate Jesus, yet deep down, I bet that he was glad they were asking them. Why, because it showed they were thinking. It showed they were engaging with what Jesus was doing. It showed they wanted to learn.

For me, being a disciple of Jesus is to be a 'constant learner' (one of the definitions of the word disciple) and to do that, we need to have questions. Not only questions from ourselves, but also of those around us. These may be head questions like "Is there a God?", "What is the Trinity about?" or "Why is there suffering", or they could be heart questions like "Why did my Dad die?" or "Why do my friends hate me?". I believe that if we want to go deeper in our faith, we need to be prepared to ask the tough questions of life to God.

The question I often find myself asking is the same as the one Judas (not Iscariot, but the other one) asks of Jesus in John 14:22;

"Lord, why are you going to reveal yourself only to us and not the world at large?"

Why did Jesus only reveal himself to a few people when he raised from the dead? Wouldn't it just be easier if he revealed himself to the whole world and then we could get this over with?

I think I'm beginning to see why Jesus has chosen to do it this way, but I am interested to hear what your thoughts are on the matter...

24-7 Prayer Euro Gathering

2009-07-03T13:35:00.002Z

This October (1st-4th), 24-7 prayer will be having a gathering of people across Europe in Amsterdam to share stories about what God is doing and to unite together in prayer for what is to come! If you want to know more about the event, you can go to http://www.24-7prayer.com/eurogathering.

If you still don't believe me, here's a video to prove it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiMZxQIukE4

Hope to see you there!

Practicing what you preach

2009-05-26T13:02:00.006Z

Matthew 7:24-27 (New International Version)

The Wise and Foolish Builders

24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

I've heard these words of Jesus many times, especially as a child. I even knew a song about it once. It's a classic really. Wise man builds his house upon rock and the foolish man on sand. When the storms come, there is only one winner!

But what I hadn't noticed until recently was what Jesus was actually saying in this story.

I always thought the wise man was the person who knew Jesus and had accepted him as their personal saviour. In other words, they had become a christian. The foolish man had not. But as I read it again recently, there is a little more to it than that.

"Everyone who hears these words and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house upon the rock."

So what are 'these words'?

Well this story comes at the end of Jesus' main teaching; the Sermon on the Mount.

The Sermon on the Mount has been described as Jesus' manifesto where he describes the Kingdom and how that looks on earth when lived out. He talks amongst other things about being salt and light, controlling anger, forgiveness, loving your enemies, giving to those in need, prayer, fasting, money, judging others, bearing fruit and what it means to be a true disciple. Some pretty radical stuff!

For us to build on solid foundations is not just to read and know the teachings of Jesus, but to put them into practice, which I find really challenging.

How often do I read the teachings of Jesus (particularly the Sermon on the Mount) and put them into practice?

Do I just pick the bits I like and ignore the parts that challenge me?

It seems clear that the call of Jesus to discipleship is not conventinal and doesn't always make sense to the world (just read through the Beatitudes), but it is what we need to do to survive the storms that come.

I like the fact that faith in Jesus is an active experience and not just a passive gaining of knowledge.

When Jesus asks us to follow Him, it implies that He is going somewhere that He wants us to go with Him to! The disciples were soon to find that the place we are to follow Jesus is to the cross where we must die to self and be raised in Him so that we may 'Go' to the Nations under the guidance and power of the Holy Spirit. Before going, the disciples had to wait to be baptised by the Spirit as it would be Him that would fill, lead, guide and comfort the disciples.

The Holy Spirit living through them would enable them to practice what Jesus preached!

This is the same for us today. We may look at the Sermon on the Mount and think 'that's impossible to live out' and it is when we try in our own strength, which is why we need to die to self and allow Jesus to live in and through us by His spirit. It's costly and it will bring conflict inside of us, but history has shown that those who have truely died to self and followed Jesus to the cross have been raised to life and life to the full as Jesus through his spirit puts his preaching into practice through them.

My challenge for you is to ask Jesus to show you today what it means to die to self and ask Him to fill you by His Spirit so that you may be able to put into practice what you hear Him say and therefore build your life on solid foundations.

Too Busy Not to Pray!

2009-05-19T16:10:00.002Z

This week, we have another 24-7 prayer week as part of our commitment to have one a month (with regualr breaks) across Guildford over the course of the year.

While in the prayer room, the phrase 'Too busy not to pray' has come into my head a few times. As you may or may not know, this is the title of a book by an American church leader named Bill Hybels. In his book, he makes the point that rather than busyness being a reason not to pray, it is in fact a reason to pray. I know for myself, this is a busy time of year and I'm sure it is for you to, but I believe God wants us to seek Him even more in this time so that He can speak our identity over us, which is in Him and not in what we do (which doesn't mean He doesn't care about what we do or sees is as unimportant). He wants to give us His perspective as we see that He is above everything we are facing and that He has a plan and purpose for our life and that He is faithful to His promises.

A passage of scripture that has helped me in these times has been Philippians 4:6-7;"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Of course, we don't have to be in a prayer room to pray or to experience God's peace, but one thing I have observed from the life of Jesus, is that in His busyest times, he would retreat somewhere alone to pray (sometimes overnight). He knew the importance of getting away from the situations He was in and spending time with the Father. This is the beauty of the prayer room and my encouragement to you is to try and get away from your situations and spend some time with the Father either in a prayer room (check out www.24-7prayer.com to see how you would go about setting one up) or by the beach or in your cupboard or on a walk. It requires discipline, but it is worth it!

We don't have to spend hours alone, but I believe that God is just longing to show us His love and to speak it over us in the midst of the chaos around us.

Let's not allow the busyness of life to have rule and reign over us.

That place belongs to Jesus and Jesus alone.

Amazing stories

2009-05-13T13:38:00.002Z

Following on from the previous post about the guitarist from Korn, here is the website where you can find more videos like that one.

http://iamsecond.com/#/home/

Some amazing stories!

Questions?

2009-05-11T19:14:00.002Z

"Christians have tended to despise the concept of philosophy. This has been one of the weaknesses of evangelical, orthodox Christianity - we have been proud in despising philosophy, and we have been exceedingly proud in despising the intellect. Our theological seminaries hardly ever relate their theology to philosophy, and specifically to the current philosophy. Thus, students go out from the theological seminaries not knowing how to relate Christianity to the surrounding world-view. It is not that they do not know the answers. My observation is that most students graduating from our theological seminaries do not know the questions." (Francis A. Schaeffer).

Would be interested to hear your thoughts on this quote...

"I am second"

2009-04-16T13:47:00.004Z

Check out this video about ex-Korn guitarist Brian "Head" Welch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kf5WYigZHME

Big Day Out!

2009-04-16T10:18:00.001Z

You might have already heard about this, but 24-7 prayer are joining up with Delirious? and a huge list of other friends for a one-day festival on Sunday 24th May - called the Big Church Day Out - on the incredibly beautiful Wiston House Estate, West Sussex.

From 2.30pm in the afternoon until 10pm late that night, there will be a whole variety of experiences for all the family... with worship bands and speakers, fun stuff for children and activities for young people, an acoustic cafe and other food venues, and our very own 24-7prayer chapel.

Charlotte Terris and her small team have been dreaming up all kinds of creative ideas to turn the 700 year-old Wiston chapel into a beautiful prayer room, based around the Lord's Prayer. It's all very exciting. Tim Jupp, from Delirious, said that the prayer room should become the focus as the day progresses... prayer for the area, and for our nation. I haven't got the time/space here to talk about the 24-7 community taking shape at Wiston, guided by Justin and Ele Blake... but it's all very exciting.

So... we'd love you to be there, if you can come. Already churches have been buying blocks of tickets and booking coaches for the day... up to 10,000 people are expected. For more information, and for tickets, you can click across to the website; http://www.thebigchurchdayout.com

Who is unclean?

2009-03-11T16:05:00.006Z

Peter had been wiped out since this guy Jesus had turned up at his work and told him to quit his job and follow him a couple of years ago. He had seen some amazing things including healings, resurrections and even a new sport called 'water walking' during his time with this man. Then he went on an emotional rollarcoaster as he denied his friend in his hour of need and then received forgiveness from him when they met again. When Jesus ascended to heaven he told them to wait for a gift, which they did, for 10 days in one room. Unsure of what to expect, Peter and his friends were propelled out to the streets when the Holy Spirit came to them and after Peter gave a rousing speech to the crowd, 3,000 people said they would like to be a part of what was happening. This started a whole logistical nightmare, not to mention persecution and beatings, but Peter wouldn't have changed it for the world.

Jesus was alive and he wanted the world to know it! He also wanted a break, which was why he was now catching some rays on the roof of his friend Simon (a tanner!) in Joppa.

So, as Peter lay on the roof of the house, enjoying the sun and a cool breeze, what looked like a large blanket appeared in front of him. Slightly startled, Peter sat up and as he did, noticed that all sorts of animals, reptiles and birds started to cover the sheet. They all had one thing in common; they were unclean. Then he heard a voice saying "Get up, kill and eat." Peter was quick to protest, "I can't, they are unclean and impure under the Jewish laws." Then the voice replied "Do not call something unclean if God has made it clean." The vision was then repeated 3 times.

In a slight daze, Peter wandered what all this meant. Is it because I am hungry that I am seeing things? As he was mulling this over, he felt the Holy Spirit say there were 3 men coming to the door and that he should go with them as He had sent them. So that's what he did.

As he entered the home of Cornelius, Peter knew he was going to be in big trouble when the others found out what he was doing. Peter, a Jew, was not permitted to go into the house of a Gentile (non-Jew) as they were seen as unclean, but that vision on the rooftop had given Peter a new perspective. As he stood there speaking to this man's family about Jesus, the Holy Spirit fell in the room and Peter was reminded of that day on Pentecost. "Wow!" he thought, "this is much bigger than I thought."

Peter again was sat alone, this time in his home in Jerusalem. He had returned there to give an account of why he had visited a Gentile house and made himself unclean. After sharing his story of the vision and the dramatic experience at Cornelius' house, the rest of the Apostles were amazed and also overjoyed. A new chapter had started in the early church.

Suddenly, no one was outside of the mercy and grace of the Father through Jesus!

When I read this story in Acts 10 and 11, I am blown away by both the magnitude of it's implication for the early church, but also for us today. Up until this point, Jesus (in the early churches understanding) had come for the Jews and had given a new covenant to them. Now, with the Gentiles also believing and receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit, Jesus' command to preach the Gospel to all Nations now had a new weight and significance to it. I can't imagine the emotions the believers must have been feeling as well as the questions they must have had (of which we get a glimpse of in Acts 15).

So what for us today? Who do we see us unclean? Who have we, intentionally or not, disqualified from the Gospel? Maybe there is a limit to what we are willing to forgive? Maybe there is a person or community we have given up on? Maybe there is a people group we think won't understand? Maybe there are people of another religion who have made their choice and follow a different belief system?

Whatever the case may be, God made it clear to Peter that we as the church, have no right to call unclean what God has made clean. We have no right to put limits on the Gospel.

My prayer for us is that God would open our eyes to the world around us, and allow us to see people the way that he sees them. Throughout history, those that have made the greatest strides in the Kingdom of God are those who have shrugged off social norms and prejudices, and chosen to see the world that God created through His eyes and to see people made in His image.

Like Peter, let's be open and available to God's leading, with no limits put in place as to who or where we are willing to go.

Amen.

2009-02-13T14:15:00.006Z

^{Luke 6:27-36 says;

27}"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, ²⁸bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ²⁹If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. ³⁰Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. ³¹Do to others as you would have them do to you.

³²"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. ³³And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. ³⁴And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. ³⁵But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. ³⁶Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

I'm always cautious when I read from the bible, especially the words of Jesus, that I don't just take these words and try and fit it into my life in a convenient way so that I can convince myself that I am following the teachings. In this example, we could reduce the enormity of the word 'enemy' and make it something that we feel more comfortable with.

The word enemy means "a person who feels hatred for, fosters harmful designs against, or engages in antagonistic activities against another; an adversary or opponent."

This is a very imposing word. It suggests that an enemy is not just someone you don't get on with, or who 'gets on your nerves', but is someone who is taking an active role in making your life as hard as possible out of a feeling of hatred towards you. This is someone you either want to avoid or at least take some sort of action in retaliation.

Yet, this is the person that Jesus asks us to love!

To the Jewish people that Jesus was talking to, their enemy was the Romans. They were a oppressive empire who had taken their land, demanded taxes and who had an aggressive way of keeping law and order (dieing on a cross was not a pleasant activity). It was the Romans that the Jews would have hoped that the Messiah would free them from. They were expecting a Messiah that would be a warrior King, just like David, who would overthrow the Romans, with physical force, take back their land and restore the rightful worship of the day.

They wanted a Messiah who would wipe out their enemies and not one who would command them to actively love them.

Who are your enemies? Who are the people that make life really hard for you? Is anybody engaging in activities that cause you harm?

How do you respond to them?

As you think about this, also think about what this passage says about God's love. Verse 35 says that God "is kind to the ungrateful and wicked" and that we should be merciful just as He is.

What is this saying?

Well, God has many enemies. That doesn't mean He hates people, but many people have turned their back on him and show Him hatred. How does he respond to them?

¹⁶"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,^a]">[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."

God's response to His enemies was to die for them. He loved them so much, that He was willing to give Himself for them, even though He knew that some would still ignore and hate Him.

This is the example He asks us to follow.

Are we willing to lay down our lives for our enemies? Not just our friends or those we care for, but for those who actively hate us and make our life as terrible as possible.

This is the kind of love that will change the world. This is the kind of love that the Kingdom demands.

A wonderful exponent of this love was Martin Luther King Jnr in the 1960's, when as an oppressed African American, he found justice through peaceful, loving means. Here are some quotes from his life;

"At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love."

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

"Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world that we must love our enemies - or else? The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."

I could go on, but the point is, this was a man who took the message of Jesus seriously and changed the world around him through facing hatred with love.

My prayer for us is that God would continue to give us the grace to love our enemies and that as we do, that we would see lives changed and His Kingdom come here on earth as it is in heaven.

Thoughts for the future

2009-01-16T16:30:00.005Z

I've been thinking a lot about my future recently (as I am often guilty of just drifting without thought) and realised that, in the process, I had started to worry about it. The reason, I concluded, was that I had become the centre of my thoughts and not God. As soon as I became the focus, things started to look impossible and hopeless. I started to compare myslef with others and think thoughts like 'Have I made the right choices in the past?'. This is what the nation of Israel did very quickly after they left Egypt, and it didn't do them any favours!

One of the things that often gets me down is not having money, not so that I'm rich, but so I can use it well and give etc. I've just finished reading a book called "Daring to Live on the Edge" by Loren Cunningham, which I highly reccomend, and he talks about faith and finance, and how we all need to operate our finances in faith (especially in the current financial climate). What he reminded me is that you don't need loads of money to give, you just need money. The reason we don't give when we don't have much is that we are scared of not getting it back. We are scared that we will be the one's without, yet God promises to provide for our needs. It's a real challenge for me at the moment as God asks me to give with the little I have.

It's been a good process to come back to God and give him my future again and just say I trust Him (especially with my finances). That doesn't mean I don't have dreams and desires (it's fun to dream), but I have to choose to believe that God knows best and will work it out in his timing.

It's not always easy following God, and indeed the word passion means suffering, so I suppose it should come as no surprise that if we have a passion for Jesus, it will involve suffering at some level!

2008-12-11T12:08:00.001Z

I just wrote these reflections on our past year of prayer in Guildford and thought you might like to read it.

As I sat in the prayer room at the Undercroft last week, my mind began to wonder back to the places we have prayed in each month over this past year.

It all started in January at St Saviours, with a launch as part of the UK 24-7 Prayer tour, before moving to the oldest building in Guildford, St Mary's church, in February. In March we joined in with the Salvation Army and their brilliant prayer journey through the story of Jesus as part of Easter week. April was hosted by the YMCA and May was in the vestry of Christchurch. June was in the main sanctury of St John's Stoke and July was in the Matrix Trust offices at Albany House. August saw us have a break before we came back with a bang in a tent on the Campus of the University of Surrey as part of freshers week. October was hosted by URC Westborough and the final week was in the Undercroft museum on High St during the busiest shopping period of the year.

In total, we have had 1,680 hours of prayer across 10 venues with an estimated 200 different people entering into these spaces. We have heard stories of healings (physical, spiritual, emotional), people praying for the first time (even those who wouldn't say they believed in God), others who have heard God speak to them and some of who have redicovered the joy and life that comes from spending time with their creator. I'm sure there are countless more stories that we aren't even aware of as a result of our prayers!

Our desire is to build on the momentum of this past year as we look ahead to 2009.

We hope that the church of Guildford will continue to come together for 2009 as we continue to ask, seek and knock that the Kingdom of God would be established on earth as it is in heaven.

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Matt 7:7-8

Who's got the world in their hands?

2008-12-09T15:10:00.002Z

I was watching TV the other day, when a commercial for the Sony 'Playstation Portable' came onto the screen. The song they were using sounded very familiar, but at the same time, different. Then I realised what that difference was, they had taken the classic Sunday school song "He's got the whole world in His hands" and changed it to "You've got the whole world in your hands".

Now on the surface, this seems very innocent and a clever marketing ploy as they have used something that is familiar to sell their product, but sublimely there is a message here that goes right back to the garden of Eden.

In that garden, man fell into sin when they believed the lie that they didn't need God and that they were better off without Him. They sacrificed the opportunity to enjoy the world that God created, for the sake of chasing their own ideals.

Not too much has changed today, and everyday, people make choices that look to further their own kingdom as they chase the illusion of control and the idea that 'the whole world is in their hands'.

I'm not saying that Sony are the antichrist or that we should boycott their products (I quite like the PSP's), but this commercial was another reminder to me that we are confronted daily with the temptation to be something we can't at the cost of losing everything we could be if we acknowledge God for who He is.

He has the whole world in His hands!

I saw a great film recently, which had the theme of letting go of the perception that we are in control. It's called 'Instinct', and it's well worth a watch.

Good news!

2008-11-19T15:02:00.003Z

Romans 3:23 says "For all have sinned; all fall short of God's glorious standard."

How does this make you feel?

For me, this verse always made me feel a bit despondent and a failure. Naturally, I am quite competitive and like to achieve standards that are set before me, both by myself and by others. It's how I work best. So when I became a follower of Jesus, I wanted to be like Him. He seemed to have everything in the right place. He was loved by all, healed the sick and ultimately never sinned. That's what I wanted. He was and is the standard.

But, after a couple of weeks and months of trying to obtain this, I was left feeling guilty that I kept messing up and a bit of a failure. Jesus had asked me to follow Him and I had messed it all up, and then Paul decided to rub my nose in it with his letter to the Roman church.

However, this verse, in it's right context, is one of the most beautiful verses in the Bible.

Let's read on...

"Yet now God in his gracious kindness declares us not guilty. He has done this through Christ Jesus, who has freed us by taking away our sins. For God sent Jesus to take the punishment for our sins and to satisfy God's anger against us. We are made right with God when we believe Jesus shed his blood, sacrificing his life for us."

This is the Gospel! This is good news! That Christ died for our sins! Why? It's because we can't hit the standards God expects. We in ourselves are not enough, no matter how good we think we are. To understand the beauty of His Grace, we need to first understand the necessity for it. This was the message that gripped Paul's heart, as he had experienced it first hand.

Another man who knew the mercy and grace of God was King David. Having committed adultery and murder, David is faced with his sin. What is his response? Psalm 51.

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts ^[a] ;
you teach ^[b] me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17 The sacrifices of God are ^[c] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

My prayer for us, is that we would face our sin and the reality that we have fallen short, not with guilt or condemnation at our perceived failure, but with the humility and joy that comes from knowing a God who has welcomed us into his family, by the death and resurrection of His Son and that alone. This is good news!

Allow God to show you His love for you and know his forgiveness today and then share it with others for His glory!

Amen.

Change

2008-11-05T13:24:00.005Z

Change is certainly all around us. In the early hours of this morning, senator Obama became the 44th president of the United States of America. His emphasis throughout his campaign for the White House was the need for change. The need for a different outlook. A need for fresh hope. Many people feel he is the man to bring it.

The world watches on in anticipation.

My bible reading at this time has brought me to the edge of the Jordan at the start of Joshua. The Israelites have been wandering around the desert for 40 years after their disobedience to God (and lack of faith) in the book of Numbers, and a new generation has emerged, charged by Moses in the book of Deuteronomy and with a new leader, Joshua. Change is all around them. They stand on the edge of their own miraculous water based crossing (Red Sea for earlier generation), not sure what is ahead (although they know it will involve lot's of battles).

The important thing for the people was to acknowledge God in the midst of their change and to keep His commands as He had asked them to do.

So what was the first thing that the people did when they crossed the Jordan into the promised Land?

We are told in Joshua ch5 that the first thing they did as a people, was reestablish their covenant with God. This was the covenant made with Abraham in Genesis 15 that God would make a great nation from him that would be a blessing to the other nations of the world. Their identity would be in God, for they were chosen and set apart, not because they were special, but because they were nothing and God wanted to show His glory through them.

The sign of this covenant was circumcision (Genesis 17), so that is what Joshua and the rest of the men did to each other to reestablish the promise God had given to them (with pieces of flint!). This would have left them vulnerable to attack (we saw Joseph's brother's use this tactic in Genesis 34) as they recovered from the operation, but this was their commitment to God and a sign of their trust in Him. They then celebrated Passover together, to remind themselves of what God had done for them in taking them from a place of hopelessness in Egypt, to a place of hope in a land of promise.

Their first act of change, was to remember and celebrate. A time of reverance and joy.

My prayer for the USA, is that as they face this new dawn, that they would first remember their covenant with God and not forget what He has done for them. Before they face the many battles that lie ahead, my hope is that they will reestablish their covenant with God, which has been made possible because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross and that they remember their story as a Nation and where they have come from. I pray that they would be the blessing to other Nations that they have been called to be and not abuse the favour that has been given to them or take it for granted.

I pray that the whole nation would unite together, not in a flag, or a person, or a foreign policy, but in Jesus who is the hope that we all need to cling onto in this time.

I pray that the greatest change would be in the hearts and minds of the people, and not just the outward action of a government.

Lord, let your Kingdom come, let your will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven. Amen.

Story from a prayer room

2008-10-29T16:09:00.003Z

Below is a story from our last 24-7 prayer room in Guildford, as told by the pastor of the church;

"During the first hour of prayer together, a lady from our cell group felt she had a picture of a well in her mind, with the conviction to pray for a friend that she would drink from the well. A little unsure of whether it was God or not, she prayed for the person anyway. As she left the prayer room, she was shocked and amazed to find that someone else had painted a large picture of a well, with words inside it that encouraged people to drink of it. Needless to say, she left encouraged that God had given her a confirmation that He had spoken to her."

I love these little stories. Nothing really dramatic happened like a healing or angelic visitation, but someone left the room with their hearts 'strangely warmed' as they realised that Jesus is alive and wants to speak to us.

I'm sure we can all think of times when we've had a similar experience to this lady and if you haven't, ask Jesus to speak to you today and be ready to listen...

Discipleship

2008-10-24T09:37:00.005Z

I've started reading 'The Cost of Discipleship' by Dietrich Bonhoeffer and am finding it hard to get past a paragraph on page 58 as it has both captured and provoked me;

"The disciple is dragged out of his relative security into a life of absolute insecurity (that is, in truth, into the absolute security and safety of the fellowship of Jesus), from a life which is observable and calcuable (it is, in fact, quite incalcuable) into a life where everything in unobservable and fortuitous (that is, into one which is necessary and calcuable), out of the realm of finite (which is in truth the infinite) into the realm of infinaite possibilties (which is the one liberating reality)."

Would love to hear your thoughts on this...

Enemies?

2008-10-22T12:46:00.004Z

I was chatting to a friend the other day and he was expressing his frustration and anger with some people he works with. He was talking about how nobody respected him and made him feel unwelcome. He told me that he really disliked some of them, which was unlike him. It was clear to see that he was not happy and this situation was really affecting him, causing him to become angry and resentful. After listening to him rant for a couple of minutes, I asked him a simple question.

'Do you pray for these guys?'

Up until this point, all he had talked about was himself. How he was feeling. How these people had affected his life. He was the victim and it was their fault. My friends response to the question was interesting. His face changed as he thought about what I'd said.

"I don't think I do. Maybe I should?"

Following on from my previous post (Tale of two stories), we can see that my friends inability to see outside of himself and his own story had affected the way he viewed other people. If we only look at ourselves and our own situation, emotions, feelings, then we will always be the victim, there will always be someone better than us and we will never be satisfied. My friend had lost sight of the big picture.

Jesus spoke about this in Matthew 5, which we know as the sermon on the mount. Here Jesus is laying out what the Kingdom of God is like and how we should live in the midst of that. What is clear throughout, is the kingdom of God is unlike anything we have known and seems impossible to live out (many suggest that it is without God and that's the point!). Jesus talks about who receives blessing, the Law, dealing with anger, divorce, prayer, the poor, money and possesions and so on. This is the manifesto of the Kingdom.

The part that has always challenged me and which relates to the conversation with my friend, is the teaching on loving your enemy in verses 43-48;

43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor^[h] and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies^[i] and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

This teaching is as revolutionary now as it was at the time it was said. Love your enemies? That's not normal. If people hurt us and persecute us, surely they deserve to be punished. Where is the justice? This doesn't make sense!

But in the eyes of God this makes perfect sense.

When Jesus died and rose again, he wasn't just reconciling us back to God (opening a way to the Father), he was reconciling us back to each other. It is only through the cross and the dieing to ourselves, that we can be raised with Him and experience His love for us and for others. This is His mercy and grace for us.

What is going to mark us out as followers of Jesus? What makes us different to anyone else?

The answer, sacrificial love.

Love that goes beyond feeling. That goes beyond political boundaries, beyond what the world says is the limit to what people deserve. Love that costs, but has great rewards.

We are called to love and pray for those who persecute us and those who we would call enemies. That would range from our boss in work to Osama Bin Laden and everything inbertween.

Why?

Because they need to know the love of God, just as much as you do. Because God doesn't have favourites, and neither should you. Because we are part of a story that is bigger than our own. Our life is no longer ours to own as we die to oursleves and become slaves to Christ (or bound to Him) and this is what He calls us into. We are a kingdom of priests, called to minister to the world, which means the oppressors as well as the oppressed.

It was this radical love that led Jesus to the cross.

It was this radical love and forgiveness that changed the life of a young man named Saul, who as a result of a dramatic encounter with Jesus and the obedience of a man named Ananias, understood the power of grace to the point that he dedicated his whole life to communicating this messgae of love and forgiveness to all for the rest of his life.

He would have been Ananias' (and Jesus') enemy!

It is this radical love that has changed me and many others I know.

In a world that is obsessed with individuals rights and the need to gain revenge/retribution, where are the people that will rise above that, in the grace of a resurrected Jesus, to love, serve and pray for those who wrong us, abuse us and attack us as well as those who love us? Where are the people that know their identity is in the Father and as one of His children, want to see the whole of creation restored back to Him? Where are the people with a kingdom perspective rather than a worldly perspective?

The final verse calls us to be perfect like our father, which suggests this is a hard task!

How then is it made possible?

We must first receive the love God has for us before we can think about loving others. It's His love for us that will change our hearts and it's His love in and through us that will change the world.

I am not, but I know I AM!

Ask God to show you how to best love and serve your enemies today. Ask Him to reveal His heart for them. Let's not avoid the commands of Jesus that make us uncomfortable, for it is in these that we will find life and life to the full.

Amen.

Call and response

2008-10-16T16:30:00.001Z

www.callandresponse.com.

Check out the website and find out how you can be a part in bringing an end to slavery and people trafficking.

We have to respond!

Tale of two stories

2008-10-10T16:58:00.011Z

This week I have been studying the story of Moses at the start of Exodus, and particularly the encounter he had with God at the burning bush. A couple of years ago, this story had a profound impact on me as I struggled with my identity and in particular my insecurities around what I felt God was calling me into and the ability I had in myself to carry it out.

In this conversation (Exodus 3 and 4), God makes it clear that the call to 'Go' was not about Moses and his ability to make it happen, but about God showing His glory to His people and continuing the story He had started with Abraham and seeing it through to completion. God wanted to free His children from slavery in Egypt and was asking Moses (or indeed telling Him) to join Him. It should have been a privilege and an honour for Moses, yet the great drama of his own story (murder, failure etc) had caused him to become overwhelmed with fear and hopelessness towards his future.

The same message applies for our lives today. God wants to remind us that the redemption of creation is His story, His mission and He will carry it out with or without us. The amazing thing is that He has chosen to involve us in this plan and has promised to be with us, even giving us His spirit to empower us, which has all authority.

There's a great book by Louie Giglio entitled "I am not, but I know I AM", which talks about this concept in much greater depth, and with honest simplicity. The opening paragraph reads like this:

"Life is the tale of two stories - one finite and frail, the other eternal and enduring. The tiny one - the story of us - is as brief as the blink of an eye. Yet somehow our infatuation with our own little story - and our determination to make it as big as we can - blinds us to the massive God story that surrounds us on every side."

Which story are you seeking to make famous today? Has the drama of your day-to-day life caused you to miss the bigger play that you are invited into? Take time to stop and to ask God to reveal that story to you again. His story for the world and the part that He wants you to play in it. It's not about the size of the part, more the size of the author who has written you into it.

Prayer on Campus

2008-09-29T14:18:00.009Z

Last week we had a 24-7 prayer week (although it was only 5 days) on the local University Campus. We put up a tent opposite the library, by a busy intersection and our main prayer for the week was that God's Kingdom would break onto the Campus. A simple prayer, but also a massive one!

The rota filled up slowly at first, but as the week went on, more and more people signed up. Then the stories started coming out. People were wandering in on their way to lectures, coming back from the pub or just lost. It was a place to ask questions, ask for prayer or for some, it was a space just to chill out amongst the busyness of freshers week.

Below are a couple of stories from a friend after his time in the tent:

"A group of us were praying for freshers who might be feeling lost or out
of place. 10 minutes after saying that prayer in wondered a guy who turned
out to be a Christian. At the end he said 'I felt so lost as it's only my
first day, I was just wondering round feeling lost and saw this tent'!"

"Earlier today a couple of us were praying and were reminded of the
parable of the prodigal son. So we began to pray for prodigals on the
campus to come home. Then in walks a guy who's just started 2nd year. He
started talking about his struggles and regrets in not living for Jesus. A
prodigal starting to come home? God answers our prayers!"

There were loads more like this!

For me personally, I ended up doing the 2am to 4am slots for two nights running (I'd love to say these were my favourite slots, but I was mainly doing them because nobody else would). The first night I had the chance to talk to about 20 people about faith, Jesus, religion, science. I was getting all of the students who were on their way home from the student union, which kicked everyone out at 2am. Some were just coming in to get out of the cold, but others had burning questions.

Why does God allow pain? Where does science fit in? What about other religions?

I had suddenly become an expert in Apologetics! The best thing I could do most of the time was just listen. For many, they just wanted someone to talk to, to vent at or just to ask those questions that they've always wanted to but couldn't. I found it challenging (especially at 3 in the morning), but enjoyable.

The next night was different.

For a start it was colder. This meant I had less people just stopping in as they were keen to get home to their warm beds, which was something I was thinking about until a loud scream caught my attention.

A couple of hundred yards away a fight had started between a couple of guys and although I couldn't really see it, I could hear it. It was a combination of the thudding of knuckle against cheekbone and the piercing screams of a girlfriend. I started praying, 'God, bring your peace. Bring a person of peace into the situation'. As I stood there in the tent, feeling helpless, the fighting stopped and it seemed to settle down. Everyone except the girlfriend. For the next 20 minutes (although it felt like hours) she continued to wail and sob as she screamed at her attackers and what felt like the world. This girl was in deep distress. Again, this helpless feeling came over me. I kept praying, but only one word was coming out 'Jesus'.

As I looked around the prayer room in this time, I grew frustrated and angry. I looked around at the nice pictures and bible verses that were hung up on the wall. One was of a boat on a lake, which said 'Jesus the boat of life'. There was something about this picture that particularly disturbed me.

It all just seemed a bit too nice.

The boat was on a calm body of water, tied to the safety of the dock. I'm sure for the person who drew the picture (it was well drawn) the picture meant something, but in the midst of the screams of this young lady outside the tent, the boat of life seemed to be in the wrong place. Surely it should be in the rough seas where people are drowning? Where their screams seemingly couldn't be heard? This is where the boat would have been surely?

This led me to think about myself. Am I where people need me to be? As a church, are we amongst the hurting and dieing of this world? Are we following Jesus to these places or are we asking him to join us in our activities? Jesus came for those who need a doctor and that is who the church is meant to be for too.

This experience highlighted to me once again the importance of our prayers not just staying in prayer rooms or in the comfort of our safe lives and routines. They must lead somewhere. How can we not be moved into action from the place of prayer? Can we meet with God and not be changed in some way? I definitely felt that God was beginning (and continuing) to break my heart for the people and situations that break his.

Later in the night, I spent an hour or so talking to a young Hindu guy about Jesus and faith. He knew so much, yet knew so little. I could understand why Jesus used to say to people 'the Kingdom of God is near'. So many people are so close without knowing it.

Who will tell them?

There is a lot more I could write, but the main thing to say is that this prayer week has shown me again that we have to take the Good News of Jesus to people and that although we may face questions and ridicule, there is 'good soil' out there and Jesus has promised us that the Holy Spirit will give us the words to say in tough situations. We just need to be available and obedient.

What are we waiting for?

Home

2008-08-05T09:36:00.004Z

Every year, the wandering band of nomads that is the 24-7 prayer family, comes together to share stories, eat food and just celebrate what God is doing around the World. I've been to the last 2 and have found them refreshing, relaxing and really encouraging. It really is amazing to take a step back and just allow God to speak through other people's lives.

This years gathering is entitled 'Home' and it is being held in Southampton, England from the 12th to the 14th of September. For more info, and to book in, go to www.24-7prayer.com.

"I want you to be merciful"

2008-07-29T10:48:00.002Z

While in a worship gathering recently, I felt led to read from Matt 9. The second section (v9-13) of this chapter is the story of Matthew the tax collector's call to follow Jesus. Here it is:

As Jesus was going down the road, he saw Matthew sitting at his tax-collection booth. "Come, be my disciple," Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him.
That night Matthew invited Jesus and his disciples to be his dinner guests, along with his fellow tax collectors and many other notorious sinners. The Pharisees were indignant. "Why does your teacher eat with such scum?" they asked his disciples.
When he heard this, Jesus replied, "Healthy people don't need a doctor - sick people do." Then he added, "Now go and the learn the meaning of this scripture: 'I want you to be merciful; I don't want your sacrifices.' For I have come to call sinners, not those who think they are already good enough. (NLT)

I'd heard and read this passage many times, and there are lots of things I could say about it, but in the environment of a worship gathering, one section took on a different meaning to me. The particular verse I was struck by was Jesus suggestion to go and learn what Hosea 6:6 says 'I want you to be merciful; I don't want your sacrifices.'

Hosea 6 in the New Living Translation is entitled 'A call to repentance'. It is a description of God's despair and loving judgement of a nation (Israel) who has totally abandoned her God and is chasing after others, but continue to make sacrifices to God in spite of that. v6 in full says 'I want you to be merciful; I don't want your sacrifices. I want you to know God; that's more important than burnt offerings'.

As I sat surrounded by people with their hands in the air singing their praises to God and offering their 'burnt offerings' I felt convicted.

Am I just going through the motions? Am I just hiding behind the usual 'burnt offerings' of sung worship? Do I know God? Am I just playing lip service while putting other things before him?

The other question I had was;

What does it mean to be merciful?

Wikipedia's definition of mercy is;

'Mercy is a term used to describe the leniency or compassion shown by one person to another, or a request from one person to another to be shown such leniency or unwarranted compassion for a crime or wrongdoing.'

God offers us mercy by showing us leniency and compassion where we don't deserve it. The penalty for sin is death, yet God has shown us mercy by sending Jesus to take our place.

Ok, so how do I become merciful? Firstly, what does compassion mean?

'Compassion is a profound human emotion prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering.'

Another definition is 'shared suffering'. 'Com' meaning to share and 'passion' to suffer.

So to be merciful, I need to be someone who is willing to forgive those who in the eyes of the world don't deserve to be and even share in their suffering! This sounds quite extreme! Yet, this is what it means to know God and to love him.

What Jesus is saying to these Pharisees is that to know God is not just to offer him sacrifices. It's not just about turning up on a set day at a set time and giving God our attention then going home. It's more than a ritual or service. To know God is to know the people he loves. Jesus revealed that he came for the sick and those in need. His life was devoted to those that needed him.

There are people all around us today that need to know God's mercy. They need to know a doctor. They need to know that no matter what they have done, they can find forgiveness. This is the Gospel ('Good news') and this is what we've been asked to share, both in word and action, to a world that is hurting and dieing.

Who are we to decide who hears this? Who are we to judge? We, as believers, are no better than they are. We do not not deserve Jesus any more than they do. We have been shown mercy, so let's show it to others. Let's be prepared to join in their suffering, just as Jesus did. We have to realise that we must 'Go' into ALL the World. It's part of our mandate in the Great Commission (Matt 28:18-20). We haven't been saved from the world, but have been called into it to be salt and light. The church was never meant to be a safe place to hide, but a dynmaic group of people who represented the risen Jesus on the earth. The body of Christ.

Jesus was addressing the area of pride in the Pharisees hearts and as I sat in the audotorium, I knew he was doing the same to me. I had stopped wanting to know God more and had settled for what I already knew. I had begun to make a god I was comfortable with and knew, and this was His way of reminding me that He can never be worked out, but as the prophet Hosea said at the end of 6:6;

'I want you to know God; that's more important than burnt offerings.'

As we search after God, it will be the revelation of who He is that will lead us to right worship and will move us out into the hurting, smelly, sinful World around us that often we try to avoid. Offering love and sharing in the suffering with those to whom the World has given up on.

This is what it means to be merciful.

Do you feel 'Equipped'?

2008-07-09T12:55:00.010Z

One term I hear a lot when I'm talking to people in church circles is the whole concept of 'being equipped for ministry'. Working alongside young believers, I see a real desire to learn more about what it means to lead people and how they can find the skills/tools to do that. This is what many would call 'being equipped'. It is the idea that we need more than what we already have to become the leader we aspire to be.

It was while reading a book recently ("You see bones, I see an army" by Floyd McClung), that I was introduced to the New Testament Greek meaning of the word 'Equip'. The word is katartiðzw and it's definition is below:

to render, i.e. to fit, sound, complete

to mend (what has been broken or rent), to repair
1. to complete
to fit out, equip, put in order, arrange, adjust
1. to fit or frame for one's self, prepare
ethically: to strengthen, perfect, complete, make one what he ought to be

This word is used 13 times in the New Testament. An example being Hebrews 13:20-21:

20 Now the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, even Jesus our Lord, 21 equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

It struck me that this definition does not talk about an addition to self, but a fixing/mending/strengthening of what is already there. For me this says that we already have been given the 'tools' we need, but they are in fact broken or not used. It encourages the idea that God has created us with characteristics, personalities, skills and talents to live the life he's called us to, but as a result of living in a fallen world, these have been damaged, tarnished, not realised or accepted.

When we think about 'Equipping' people, are we focusing on the areas of their life that need fixing or mending? Are we asking God to bring restoration and redemption to their lives, rather than putting people in boxes? By this I mean having the assumption that a leader/christian should be a certain way and moulding them in that way, or are we allowing God to make them the unique person that they were meant to be by allowing Him to do his thing and posturing ourselves humbly to guide with spiritual wisdom and discernment.

Through my relatively short experience of seeing God work in people's lives, this 'journey to the heart' is something I can really relate to. As we see young people come with the desire to be trained and sent, it usually results in God taking them to the dark, rejected, broken places that he wants to heal, mend and restore in their hearts. I truly believe that we've all been made with unique gifts, talents and experiences that have been given to us to reach the people we most relate to. Unfortunately, for different reasons, we have been hurt, had doubts, suppressed and struggled on in our own strength, with our own coping strategies and techniques. Normally, our greatest fears are an indication of where our passions lie. We need God's love to replace that fear so that he can equip and release us in those areas. Do we trust God enough?

To be 'equipped' by God is a difficult, painful process (if anyone has had a bone put back in place they would know what I mean). It's painful because we have to face up to ourselves and our own weaknesses and hurts in order to allow God to prod at places that are soft and tender. Many of us shy away from this, but if we allow it, then I believe we will come through much stronger. There is also a sense of adjustment, maybe a changing of worldview that we hold. It's not quite as glamorous as people seem to think, but it is a core part of discipleship (which is another can of worms for another time).

These are just my initial thoughts. I would love to hear what comments you have.

What is clear to me is that I think we need to be aware of what we are saying when we are offering to equip people.

Who does the equipping?

The story of the unknown

2008-05-16T11:41:00.006Z

I was watching a TV programme last night, which was discussing the sudden rise in the amount of biography's that are being written at the moment. You only have to walk into a book shop and you will be faced by the life stories (I say life, but some of these guys are in their 20's) of people ranging from top politicians to Big Brother contestants. The programme went on to say that off the back of this sudden surge of interest in memoir writings, some publishing companies are offering to write the life stories of ordinary people who have not been in the limelight. The example they used was an elderly couple who had lived through the 2nd world war etc. What was interesting about this is that the guy doing the report recognised that although not as high profile, these unknown stories were fascinating and in many ways more captivating than those of a higher profile as they felt like real people with real lives, rather than people who we know all about as they are plastered all over magazines and newspapers, often with little substance.

This got me thinking about the worlds desire to be known, seen and acknowleged. The desire that to many people validates their lives and gives them a feeling of self worth for which they aspire and to people who aren't in that position, gives them an overhelming feeling of insignificance and worthlessness.

On the surface it looks like such a superficial desire, but unfortunately you can see the way that this desire has seeped into the church.

Many of us would admit that in our lives we have felt spiritually inadequete. We look at the big church leaders, those with amazing gifts and just think "If only I could be like that". We look at them and suddenly our own lives seem boring and insignificant. We even start thinking that God somehow loves these people more than us as they are 'better Christians'. The obvious dangers here are that we put these people on a large pedestal from which they can fall (and fall hard), and that more importantly, we begin to have a skewed view of God, how he views us and the value that our lives have.

God doesn't have favourites. He doesn't work on a commission basis where the more we do for him, the more he does for us. We are told in 1 John 4:19 that:

"We love because he first loved us."

Everything that we are comes from God's love. Our life is validated by that. It is our identity. We are the loved children of God. The reason we often don't feel close to God, is not because he is reluctant to be near to us, but because we struggle to accept and receive his love and forgiveness because of our perceived faults and failings.

Once we have rediscovered that our life is validated by God's love for us, our desire to be known and validated by others goes. In whatever role of society we have, our lives matter as we are 'trophies of His Grace' as Paul would put it. Although seemingly ordinary, our lives are in fact extra-ordinary as 'we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us'.

Just because we are not known by others, does not mean God does not know us. Don't feel the pressure to be something your not just to try and be accepted by God and others. Also, don't feel that what God has called you to is somehow less than what others have. We are all priests in His kingdom. Mediators between God and people. If you feel God has called you to something really think and pray through what this means. Don't limit God's plan in your life by copying others or trying to 'keep up with the Joneses'. You have been made the way you are for a reason to fulfill a specific role in the Kingdom. Don't forget that in this world of comparison.

So the point of writing this is to say, don't belittle your story. Your story brings hope to many as they see the joy, peace and love you have found. As you accept and receieve God's love, your life will be changed, not so you become successful and famous but so that you realise that the only thing that matters in life is God and everything is made by him, for him, including you.

If you don't already, why not begin journalling. Write accounts of what God has done and is doing in your life. Write your joys, your frustrations and dreams. If writing is not your style, how about making a timeline. Let God show you how exciting and important your story is to him. Don't downplay what God has done with false humility. Give Him the glory!

"Christ in you, the Hope of Glory!"

Prepare to be blown away by the bestseller that God is writing in your life, and recognise that it is part of a much bigger story that starts and finishes with God.

Simplicity in Obedience

2008-03-12T11:46:00.015Z

One of my favourite characters in the Bible is a guy called Ananias. We find him in Acts 9, seemingly minding his own business in Damascus, when suddenly, God appeared to Him in a vision. It turns out that God wants him to go to a house on Straight Street (I love the detail!), and ask for a man named Saul who has seen Ananias come to him in a vision and pray to restore his sight.

Sounds simple enough!

Except, Saul is one of the main instigators of the mass persecution that the early church is facing in this time! Quite rightly, Ananias points this out to God. "Do you realise who this is?!?" God, of course, is aware and this time is a bit firmer, "Go! This is the man I've chosen to go to the Gentiles."

Ok, it seems God has thought this one through.

So Ananias goes to the house and indeed finds Saul blind (after his previous experience on the road to Damascus). He lays his hands on him and prays that God would restore Saul's sight and would fill him with the Holy Spirit. At once, his sight is restored and he was baptised (a public sign of repentance) and ate food for the first time in 3 days.

The rest, as they say, is history as Saul/Paul goes throughout the surrounding area carrying the message of Jesus to many tribes and Nations, while suffering for His name. Indeed, the majority of the New Testament is written by this man.

But at the start of all this we see Ananias.

He is only mentioned in 8 verses. We don't know anything about his life, his occupation, family, history, future. All we know is that when God said 'Go', he went. But let's not underestimate where God said for him to go to. He asked him to go to the person that we are told was muttering threats under every breath, who was going from house to house dragging people away in chains. Ananias was potentially putting his own life at risk. What is obvious is that he had a deep understanding of God and trusted him. He knew the Lord's voice when He spoke and trusted enough to obey. I can't imagine what was going through his mind as he approached the house. Did I hear right? What if he's not there? What if he is there!?!? Ultimately, God was right and what He said was fulfilled. Ananias then probably returned home and got on with his life.

The reason I like Ananias so much is that he was so unassuming and is not really talked about much in comparison with a Simon Peter or a Martin Luther, but yet he had one of the most important roles to play in church history.

Did he even know what Saul went on to do?

It makes me think about my own life and the way I respond to the Holy Spirit's prompting. There have been times where I've felt God say to go and talk to someone and I haven't through fear. Fear of being wrong and looking silly.

'It can't be God because that makes no sense!'

Chances are that it is more likely to be God if it doesn't make sense! Who knows what a simple act of obedience can do. A smile, a prayer, a hug, a letter of encouragement, a cheque in the post. These could all be the key that unlocks someones heart and releases them into something new with their Saviour.

We have had a couple of examples recently in our community, where people have felt the Holy Spirit prompt them to do something and it ended up being an answer to someone else's prayer. Below is a story that some of our Transit students Rebekah, Frances, Louise and Chris wrote about after a recent trip to the West of England:

"It was Tuesday morning, and we had left later than intended, which usually happens when embarking on a road trip. We were heading West with our only plan being to see what the Lord wanted us to do when we arrived.

Our first stop was to get petrol and pastries. The second was to look over the valley and pray. We had a couple of thoughts after this, take the white roads and seek out the "old paths."

Frances took the map and the responsibility to find the most obscure route to Tewkesbury. We left the motorway at a little village called Maisemore and began our search. Our first turn off was down "Old Road" which led us to St. Giles Church. We got out to explore a bit. As we were wandering around, Jackie arrived to pray. We shared a bit of what we were doing and asked to join her. After a short Lenten liturgy we were invited back to her house for tea and cake.

As we enjoyed her hospitality Jackie told us a bit of her story and how the Lord had led her and her husband to Maisemore and to the little parish church with ever dwindling numbers. To be honest her dedication, faithfulness, and sacrifice were inspiring.

We asked to pray for her before we left.

She was thrilled at the suggestion and it became a time of mutual blessings as she began to explain a bit more of what has been happening in the local parish and of the hopes and frustrations that she and a few others have been experiencing.

Three of the nearby parishes will be merging in the near future, due to a decrease in numbers as well as difficulties remaining from the flooding last year. Jackie, her husband and two other couples have been meeting together for the past few years, praying for the area and the church, and Jackie explained that they were all at a place of discouragement. In fact, only recently had she cried out to God asking for something to show that He was hearing their prayers and they weren't just wasting their time and effort.

Having us arrive when we did came as a great gift to her, and so we spent some time praying for her, the other couples, the parish, and were able to give some further words of encouragement for them all.

It was also a wonderful blessing and faith builder to us as we were able to see how God had engineered the entire situation. Many of us had been nervous upon leaving Guildford, not really knowing what to expect or what would be required of us, but seeing how graciously and gently God had directed us and how simple it all became when we were just willing to trust His Spirit was a wonderful encouragement for us as well."

Let's be people who are open to the Spirit's promptings. Who live lives of simple obedience, bringing glimpses of the Kingdom as we do. Who knows what or who will change as a result!

Play spaces

2008-03-04T10:53:00.003Z

A few summers ago, I had a job with the local council working with children as part of an initiative called 'Play Wales', which was trying to address the problem that seems to be rising in this country of children not having a chance to play anymore. By play, they meant the times when a child has the freedom to explore, create games, with no boundaries, no adults telling them what they can and can't do, which often results in lot's of fun and a building of confidence.

Due to many factors (fear of paedophiles, busier parents, technology), children's leisure time has become more dictated and lacks a level of exercise, which along with poor diets, has led to a rise in child obesity. So the idea that 'Play Wales' had was to create spaces in which children could have the freedom to play.

So that's what we did.

We would go to different places around the city, be it a church hall, community centre or park and just provide a safe space in which the children could play. We provided equipment and resources for them to use, but the children had to decide what they wanted to do. We were told that the children dictated what happened. They created the games, the rules and we were only allowed to play if we were asked too and even then we had to play by their rules. Of course, we were to step in if we could see that it was getting out of hand or dangerous, but even then we were told that as much as possible we would allow risk and the children to resolve conflict themselves. It's not always beneficial for us to step in.

The main thinking was that as we gave the children space to play and explore, they would begin to learn more about themselves and their environment. They were forced to engage their mind and not just follow orders or be corrected all the time.

It was during this time that God really spoke to me about what it means to lead people in the church and gave me a glimpse of what God does for us. This experience made me realise that my role as a leader was more about creating safe spaces for people to explore, ask questions and make decisions for themselves in their faith. To give things a go, in the knowledge that someone is there to help and support them and step in when it is needed. What I am not called to do is order people around, setting rules and obligations, putting pressure on people to follow them and showing my displeasure when they don't or can't carry them out. This sounds a lot like the pharisees in Jesus time to me.

How many of you went to children's groups when you younger, where you were told what game you were playing, the rules and then told that you were having fun when you quite clearly weren't, so when you did try and make it fun you got shouted at for spoiling everyone else's fun when in fact you were only spoiling the leaders fun!

This example, I have found can often be translated into the life of the church. We attend every week and as long as we are going along with the vision of the church, we are ok, but if we question it or ask if we can do something else that we feel God is asking us to do, we find ourselves shot down and made to feel like trouble makers. It doesn't feel like a safe place you can explore or ask questions in. It's more like a club where you play by the rules or you 'go and sit in the corner until you feel like you can join us again'. I'm being a bit extreme here, but can you see the point? If the church isn't somewhere we can explore, play and ask questions, then there is something wrong.

We need to be leaders who are full of discernment, constantly asking the question "Holy Spirit, what are you saying in this situation?" We need to be willing for things to fail, for situations to get a bit messy, but in the midst of this trust that people are growing and maturing in their faith. Let's not limit what God wants to do in those around us with our fear of losing control.

We also need to remember that Jesus is the head of the Church and in many ways he sets the guidlines we need to follow! So let's study Jesus. How did he make disciples? How did he teach? How did he create these play spaces?

Let's not be leaders that hand out paint by number sheets, but give people blank canvases to create on, so that together we will see God's masterpiece.

Sheep and the Goats

2008-02-21T14:52:00.006Z

I've found myself being convicted of the way that I live my life this week as I've spent time in the 24-7 prayer room that we have had in Guildford over this period. Once again, Jesus is challenging my heart.

I was reminded today of the passage in Matthew 25:31-46, where Jesus talks about what will happen at the final judgment. He talks about how the Son of Man will return and separate the sheep from the goats. I'm sure the people at the time, as do we, assume that the sheep are the good people and the goats are the bad people. The sheep will be with Jesus because they are without sin, and the goats who have lived bad lives will go to an eternal punishment. But
it doesn't appear to be that clean cut.

Indeed, we find that the reason the sheep are seen as righteous is because of the way they treated the poor and those in need. We find that as they feed the hungry, give the thirsty a drink, house the stranger, clothe the naked, care for the sick and visit those in prison, they are actually doing this for Jesus, and the best thing is, they didn't even know they were doing it!

The goats feel like they've had a rough deal and you can sense that if they knew Jesus was in trouble they would have helped him, but they have missed the point.

The point is that we should be caring for those in need around us.

While I lived in Kansas City, I used to pass a guy who would always stand in the same part of the street by the bank. He was in his 60's, had no teeth, wore about 6 layers of clothing and always had a cigarette in his mouth. Through different circumstances he had lost everything, had fallen out with his family, and now lived on the street. Like many homeless guys in this part
of town he was very chatty and we soon struck up a bit of a friendship. Every Friday we would discuss things from the weather to politics to church. We also talked a lot about his family and his dreams. He was a poet and an artist and had a dream of writing a book where both could be incorporated. I was able to pray with him and help him out financially on occasions, but often I was the one who came away the most blessed. Most often his language was choice and sometimes the topic of our conversation was not wholesome, but he would ask me questions that really searched my soul and I'd often walk away feeling challenged and provoked. I believe that Jesus was speaking through him to me. Who knows if he is a believer or not, but what I do know is that when I stopped and tried to help meet this guys needs, I felt closer to Jesus than I did in a lot of church services I went to. It was not my motive when spending time with him, but it happened.

Jesus came for those in need and he calls us to do the same. It's such a simple call, yet we (definitely me here) find it so hard to do as it requires leaving our comfort zones and plunging head first into the mess that is the world. But as we do, we find ourselves closer to Jesus than ever before. It will be hard and messy, but this is what we are here to do.

Lord, may we not miss you in those around us. May we not be so consumed with ourselves, that we neglect the needs of others. By your grace alone, Amen.

A friend of mine named Kelly, who inspires me in many ways, is living this out in Boystown Mexico. Check out her blog for more info.

Who am I following?

2008-02-12T15:31:00.000Z

As a Boiler Room community here in Guildford, we have been going through the Bible in chronological order and reading it as a story. We call it God's Story, basically because it is the story of God revealing himself through time.

Anyway, we have now reached the climax where Jesus (the author in flesh) has come to earth to love, teach, serve, die and be resurrected (and I thought my life was complicated!). As we have started reading through the Gospel accounts again, I cannot help but stop in wonder at the person of Jesus. It feels like the more I read, the less I understand. Who is he? Is this the same Jesus I am following, or have I created my own personal Jesus who I find comfortable?

It has challenged me again to think soberly at what it means to be a Christian. A follower of the way. Who am I following? Do I spend time daily seeking Jesus? Asking Him questions, wanting to be near him? Or have I put him in a box somewhere, where I get him out once a week to talk to and then occasionally show him to others?

Who is it that we seek? Who are we following?

Take time to read the Gospels afresh. Ask the question, 'Who is Jesus?' and be prepared for Him to meet you in a new way.

A friend of mine gave a great talk on this recently. Check it out at this link.

What's in a name?

2007-11-13T21:46:00.000Z

Names are funny things. Some of us are more aware of them than others, but how much do they mean to us? It's just a name right.

When you look through the Bible, there are countless occasions where people get a name change after having a significant encounter with God. Abram to Abraham, Jacob to Israel, Saul to Paul. Each time God was saying, 'This is a new start. This is who you are.' Cool hey!

Personally, I've felt a little convicted when it comes to my name. After my experiences while living in the US of trying to explain my name was not Donnel or Darnel and finding that Dan was more easily understood, I have since stuck with it. Problem solved. But recently I've realised the importance of the 'iel' in my name. See the name Dan means judge or judged. Dan was one of Jacobs 12 sons who went on to become one of the tribes of Israel. The name Daniel, however, means 'God is my judge', with the 'iel' being the God part. Only a small difference, but in many ways a big one.

Therefore, I have decided that I will now introduce myself and sign off as Daniel, and if people want to call me Dan then that's fine, but I want to proclaim and live out the true meaning of my name, which recognises the Lord as my judge and the one that I fear.

Stepping into the past

2007-11-09T11:42:00.000Z

One of the roles that I have at the moment is co-ordinating a week of 24-7 prayer a month for the whole of next year (2008) across Guildford in the UK. It's really exciting to see the response from churches and individuals to this idea and I think it's going to be a significant time as we seek to join with Jesus in what he's doing in the Town by spending time with Him and then following Him to those places and people.

I was talking about this with a friend the other day and we both recognised the importance of the generations before us who have faithfully prayed and sought the Kingdom for Guildford.

It's on their foundations that we are building this house of Prayer.

I was thinking about this for a while after and was just blown away by the thought (once again) that we are part of something a lot bigger than ourselves. I wonder how many people have prayed and dreamed about what we are about to undertake and here I am an outsider from Wales, helping make it happen. Why me?

It also makes me wonder about my own family and what I am stepping into there. We have been reading through the Old Testament and seeing the way God works through family. What promises have been given to my family that I am now either living out or am carrying? Are the dreams that God has put on my heart been given to my relatives before me?

This then makes me think about my own life and the choices I make. The main choice I have is whether to follow Jesus or not. When I choose to follow Jesus, I lay down my own life and dreams and take up my cross. But instead of this being a negative thing, what I am in fact doing is allowing God to be my Lord (or boss) and let him govern my life. Again, this can have negative connotations, but what we are in fact saying is that we want our lives to be lived in the way they were supposed to be. To carry and fulfill the promises that God has for us, without us getting in the way. We then allow the story of God to continue in our lives that His Kingdom would come and His name glorified. Another word for this is Humility.

This is both amazing yet mysterious. It leaves us with a healthy fear-of-the-Lord, where we realise that we did not choose God, but He chose us.

Maybe our choice is not in fact to choose Jesus like some commercial brand, but to accept our position in creation and to live our lives in obedience to the creator and his sovereign plan. This is where we find life in all its fullness.

Compassion in suffering

2007-11-01T15:47:00.001Z

Last Saturday I woke up with a funny tummy. It just didn't feel right. A visit to the toilet confirmed my fears, I was not well. As the day continued, I progressively got worse.

Between the hours of 11am and 3pm, I was vomiting every 20 minutes. I don't know where it was coming from. I was hot, then cold. I was sweating cold drops of water, which ran down my pale face. The only two places I visited were my bed and the toilet. It was not pleasant.

Inbertween each heave, I would groan a prayer to God "Please make it stop. No more", and it was during one of these times that God really spoke to me. As I knelt in my place of suffering (over the toilet!), God began to give me compassion for those who I know, and even those I don't, who have to live with physical suffering daily.

See, in the back of my mind, I knew that what I had was just a temporary thing. I had experienced tummy bugs before and knew it would stop (well at least I hoped it would), yet many deal with sickness where there seems no end. Terminal cancer, diabetes, epilepsy. Serious, painful conditions.

How do they cope? Where is their hope?

So as I knelt there, I found myself praying on behalf of others. I could feel their pain, albeit temporarily, and it sucked and I let God know this!

I don't want to be ill again soon, but I just found it amazing that in my place of pain and suffering, I was able to cry out for others. It just reminded me that Jesus understands our pain and suffering as he experienced it while he was here on earth as he was beaten and crucified for us.

It's given me a new perspective on what the cross means as Jesus intercedes for us now from heaven, with the scars still in his hands and side. It's also given me a fresh compassion for those who are suffering physically. I have so much respect for them.

There is a day coming when there will be no more pain and suffering. Lord, let it be soon. Amen.

I don't like cricket, i love it!

2007-09-14T11:14:00.000Z

Last week I was involved in a cricket final. Check out this link for more info.

A piece on peace

2007-09-01T10:17:00.000Z

Before I start writing (although technically I already have), I would like to make a few apologies. Firstly, for my lack of posts over the summer (been quite busy) and secondly, for the title of this post (it seemed appropriate for the content).

Ok, so I'm back in Guildford, with a new Transit year starting next week and I've found some room to breathe a bit. It's been a bit manic the last few weeks finalising the curriculum, sorting out things for the houses, arranging transport etc. I do really enjoy it (in a weird kinda way), but mid-way through this week just gone, I found myself exhausted, not sleeping well, worrying about the 'what-ifs' and running all the worse case scenarios through my head. The worries and anxieties were really beginning to overwhelm me. Then on Wednesday night, we had a small gathering at our house to eat, pray and worship together and God just reminded me how much rest and peace there is in his presence. As I took my eyes off myself and my own problems and focused them on Him, they didn't look so big anymore. I was able just to sit and soak in His love, not feeling that I had to earn it, but just enjoy it and as I did, my burdens were lifted from me.

As I look back over these last mad few years, I can see again and again that he has given me peace when I have needed it. He hasn't always changed the circumstance or made the problems go away, but he allows us to face them them with a peace that our God is bigger than these things and that He is in control.

Philippians 4:6-7 says "Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Wow! What a promise. It's in God's presence, when we commune (share thoughts and feelings) with him, when we worship Him (even when we don't feel like it) that we find peace. A peace that doesn't make sense to us. A peace that guards our hearts and minds from further attack and allows us to see God as He should be seen, in control of all things!

I'm holding onto this promise again as I enter another busy season of life. I pray too that you would know His peace in your life and that the stresses and strains that we experience from day-to-day would not overwhelm you, but that you would know the Father's joy and love for you in a real way.

Amen.

The Log Carrier

2007-07-15T13:50:00.001Z

I'm sat outside our prayer room here in Guildford, and find myself with a bit of time to blog! My last few weeks have been so busy as we finished this years Transit (2006-2007) and began to plan for next year's, as well as planning for a mission training time with 24-7 (which we are in the middle of), which mainly consisted of trying to accommodate 25 people from all over the world around the city, so I apologise for my lack of writing. Looking back, I don't know how I kept going as I was juggling all of these things. His Grace is enough I suppose!

There have been many moments I could share with you about God's goodness, provision and guiding from the last few weeks, but one moment in particular has really stood out for me and given me great encouragement.

A couple of weeks ago, I took the Transit guys to the Gower in South Wales for a time of reflection and fun. A time to just enjoy each other and the beautiful creation around us before we went our seperate ways. One night, we decided to have a bonfire up on the hill and needed to get some wood for it. One of the guys remembered seeing some big pieces on the beach the night before and suggested that we walk down and get them. He did warn us that we might need two people per log as they may be heavy.

'No problem' I thought.

So a few of us started out on the 5 minute walk to the beach through the grass and the dunes. When we were about half way there, one of the walking party remembered what the logs that we were fetching were like and started to panic a bit, while trying his best to convince us that it wasn't worth the effort and that we should just have the fire on the beach instead. But our leader had other ideas.

'We will be fine', he said.

So I continued to follow. When we got to the beach, I started to appreciate the apprehension of the others. These logs were big, pointy and awkward. But, I wanted to support my friend. He had a vision, which I could see meant a lot to him. We loaded the weighty log onto our shoulders with a grunt of effort and started out on our journey.

After 20 minutes of carrying, dropping, pain and encouragement, we reached our pit. We gave out a moan as the log fell one last time from our shoulders and hugged each other, with a few back slaps thrown in for good measure. What a great feeling! We did it! We were dripping with sweat, covered in cuts and unable to lift our arms above shoulder height (they were bruised for days after), yet it felt so good.

That night, we had an amazing bonfire, which everyone enjoyed. Stories were told, marshmallows eaten and hands warmed. A memorable last night together.

The next day as I stood in the shower (which I shared with a few spiders and a rabbit briefly that morning), God spoke to me through the previous days events.

For a long time now, I have struggled with the idea of me being a leader as I have been told that they must have vision and lead from the front, which I think is true, but have never really felt described me very well. Sure, I have dreams and ideas, but I've always seen them as very general and nothing really that grand. What God gave me in the shower that morning was my vision. He showed me that my role in life is to be a log carrier. By this I mean, a supporter and carrier of other people's vision's.

My friend had a vision. To carry a log from the beach to our fire pit. He could not do it alone and needed someone to go through the pain and ultimately the joy of seeing that vision come to fruition. I had to stand with him when others were doubting and push him on when he was struggling. He also did the same for me. There were many times we had to stop on our journey and take a breather and then will each other on a bit more. To see and feel his joy at the end, gave me a sense of joy too. To experience his pain was also important. As I said, my shoulders were bruised for days afterwards, but now they are fine. They were marks of our journey.

God was showing me, that he wants me to be a carrier and supporter of other people's vision's. To journey with other's and see them live out the calling that God has for them. Ultimately, it's not about me, but about God and His plan for others. The great thing is that if others do this for me, then suddenly we have a community that loves and supports each other and who long to see God outwork the plan He has for each other's lives come to fruition.

This really excites me as I think about what God is birthing around the world with Boiler Rooms and other such communities as we seek to live this life before us with others under God's guiding. I find it liberating to know that there isn't just one type of leader and that we don't have to be someone we are not. God knows our strengths and weaknesses and places us in communities were they can be complimented by others (a bit like a body).

I pray that we would all become log carriers for others and that together, we would see God's Kingdom come in our towns and cities as we support and love one another.

Amen.

Family tree

2007-06-16T17:33:00.000Z

Over the last two days I've had the privilege of hanging out with people from the older generation. Just spending time with these guys, hearing their stories and drinking their tea has both encouraged and inspired me. I love the pace in which they live life. Each day is important to them, so they make sure they live it to the full. Now to the younger folk, that may look limited, but they really do push themselves. I also love the openness in which this generation has when sharing. They know the value of verbal communication (see previous post entitled FaceSpace).

Yesterday we spent some time at a couples house who are both in their 80's who have a lot of experience in praying for healing and have some great stories to tell. It was amazing to meet a couple who after years of serving and giving, were still so in love with Jesus and wanting to serve others. It really was amazing.

But the thing that really got me thinking was when they talked about how their greatest joy in life was to have children who grew up loving Jesus, who in turn had children, who in turn had children. 4 generations knowing and loving Jesus.

This set the daydreaming part of my brain (which is most of it) off on a walk!

I started thinking about how amazing family is (again) and the importance of passing down the story. By this I mean the story of God. We see in the Old Testament, that a nation was formed as the story and blessing was passed through the generations. The Israelites would set up monuments to physically remind them of what God had done. They celebrated festivals. They had laws. All of this was done to remind them of how good God is, not just for their own benefit, but for those that would come after them. When the story was not passed on, the people forgot about God and usually found themselves in a lot of trouble.

This leaves us with a challenge. Are we passing on the story? Are we telling others about how good God is? Are we setting up monuments to remind ourselves and others? How are we communicating the story? In an age that has forgotten God, we have a responsibility to remind them of who He is and what He has done.

The other thing that blew my mind was the thought that somewhere in my family history, somebody made a decision to follow Jesus. I have been fortunate enough to be born into a family that knows and loves Jesus. My parents, my Grandparents, but somewhere along the line someone made a decision. Someone stepped out in faith and shared the Gospel with that relative and in that moment, my life was affected. How crazy is that?

Who knows what will happen when we just obey God?

Our decisions affect not just ourselves, but the generations to come. We need to start thinking outside of ourselves. It's not all about us and now! We are part of something much bigger that we will never fully understand this side of heaven. This is why it's important to obey God when He speaks.

Off the back of these ramblings, I've decided to do a little research into my family tree.

Maybe it's something you'd like to do too?

Summer Colds

2007-06-12T15:27:00.000Z

How annoying are they? I have one at the moment and I just find it very confusing. How can I have a cold when it's warm outside? How do you treat a summer cold? Wrap up warm? I don't think so! Maybe rest is the answer?

Does sunbathing count?

FaceSpace

2007-06-04T08:24:00.000Z

After months of constant and prolific peer pressure as well as a curiosity that would have killed a whole alley of cats, I have become a member of the unstoppable phenomenon that is facebook. Having already been a part of myspace for a while, I am some what used to this quite surreal world of friendship.

It has many benefits.

I can keep in contact with friends from all over the world. This gives me a chance to see how they're doing, encourage them and steal their photo's!!!

But I also have concerns.

When does it become a security thing? My identity? An ego trip ('How many friends have you got?')? An escape? What is the point where we lose touch with reality? With those around us? When the time spent on myspace/facebook replaces time spent with family/housemates/neighbours then I don't feel it's healthy. If it eats into our time with God, then it becomes serious. It can take the form of an idol.

Is it even true friendship?

For me, friendship requires sacrifice. Syber friendships provide a safe, easy way to keep in contact that means we can hide behind our screens and let people know what we want them to know because that's all they'll know.

So what am I rambling on about??? Well, I just feel that we should enjoy and use these means of communication, but not forget those around us!!! That we should really think about what friendship is and make sure we live it out.

Here's a challenge.

For those of you on facebook/myspace, try fasting it for a week (or even a month) and make an effort to get to know your neighbours, work colleges, shop owners. Learn their names, invite them to your house for dinner. Love them!

Let me know what happens!

Thoughts at 24

2007-05-22T14:48:00.000Z

I spent yesterday reflecting on my year as a 23 year old. It's been a year of highs and lows, but one thing has remained constant, and that's God. I've experienced Him in so many different ways this past year, but particularly in the area of provision.

It led me to read again Matt 6:25-34. This is the well known passage from Jesus' sermon on the mount, where He tells us not to worry about our own needs in life, but to put the Kingdom first. For many, they interpret this to say that we don't need to work, because God will supply, for others it becomes another burden as they worry about not worrying. Here is the key to this passage;

'Seek first the Kingdom of God', or as the Message translation puts it, 'Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God provisions.' Our main priority in life should be to love God and love each other, in order that God's Kingdom would advance, but we get so caught up in our own lives, that we don't have the time and energy for anyone else!

How much of your prayer time is spent praying about yourself?

What happens when we put the Kingdom first in our lives? Well, Jesus says our needs will be met. I've experienced this recently. Money has been a pressing concern over this year as I have no regular income, and my outgoings well outweigh anything that's coming in. So I've prayed (and worried) about it for some time and not much has really changed. So in the last month or so, I've been travelling around, visiting and supporting friends in different parts of the World. I've been so busy, I haven't had time to pray (or worry) about money, yet it's been the time where I've received the most.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that God deals with us on a commission basis or that we shouldn't ask God for things, but what it does say to me is that if we stop worrying about ourselves and live a life of wild abandonment for others in obedience to Him, which doesn't always make sense, God will provide our needs, whatever they may be.

As we put the Kingdom first, our problems seem very small in comparison to an almighty God. As we care for the poor, the abused, the lonely, the hurting, the dieing, it puts our problems into perspective.

In a society that tells us we need more, we need to stop and ask why!

Jesus said in Matt 10:39, that those who let go of their life will gain it, but those who try to keep it will lose it. As we let go of ourselves and our worries and embrace the goodness of God and live in obedience to him, we will find this life to the full, as we have been promised. It may not be a life that Hollywood sells, but it's the life I want. A life that brings freedom and liberty. A life with no constraints, totally connected between mind, body and soul. A life led by the spirit, not by the world. A life of adventure and mystery. A life of learning and discovery. A life of pain, but also of healing.

Are you putting the Kingdom first today? If not, why not? What is distracting you? What are you worried about? Give it to God.

Ask Him how he wants to further the Kingdom through you today and let Him worry about the details!

Warfare

2007-05-18T17:02:00.000Z

I've really been aware of the reality of spiritual warfare this week. We've just launched another week of prayer here in Guildford, with the focus being on the nations and the lost, and it really has been hard work. It was hard work to set up, it's been hard to fill up the slots and many have talked about a heaviness when trying to pray. It strikes me that this isn't normal. Or maybe it is? Maybe we should expect it to be hard when we are praying that God's kingdom would advance. Maybe we should expect opposition? Yet when it comes, it's so easy to cave in.

I've just been reminded of how important it is that we stand up and fight. We are in a battle. A battle for our hearts, minds and soul. The ultimate victory has been won, but we are in a battle to believe that. The battle is between truth and lies. We are told that Jesus is truth and that the Holy Spirit is the bringer of truth, and we are also told that the enemy is the chief of all liars. So this is the battle. Our opinion of God, ourselves and the world are constantly under attack from the lies of the enemy and we must stand on the truth.

So, we MUST fight. We MUST fight through the doubts that bring us down and focus on Jesus.

We MUST pray, asking God to reveal us the truth and also speak it out. There is power in our words.

We MUST read our bibles. There is so much truth in these pages, yet so many of us don't read them.

Finally, we MUST do this together. It's important that we stand, support and encourage each other. That we speak truth to each other, otherwise we will be picked off one by one.

My prayer for you is that you step up to the plate. That you take your place in the ranks, and stand on truth. If your not part of a community that loves and supports you, challenging and encouraging you in truth then find one.

Most importantly, don't give up. If you are struggling, speak to some one. Don't get isolated.

Don't lose your voice!

Is this the way to Auchderarder?

2007-05-11T15:52:00.000Z

I've just returned from spending a week in a small community just outside Perth in Scotland. Myself and two others went up as representatives of 24-7 prayer to assist them as they embarked on their first ever week of prayer.

After helping to set up the room (the usual stuff- paint, sand, map of world etc), we helped lead their Sunday service, which was great fun and attended a baptism, which was even better! There was such a vibrancy and hunger about this group of believers that was both infectious and challenging.

As the week started, we weren't sure if the slots would fill up. Some people seemed nervous and apprehensive, but after a rousing opening hour, the slots continued to fill until nearly the whole week was full. The people who signed in ranged from young children, to families, to old ladies. It was beautiful to see the diversity in the way people connected with God, many for the first time. God was really moving! There is so much brokenness in the community and just being in God's presence brought both release (through tears) and peace as God began to heal hearts. It was wonderful to just step back and see God at work, knowing it had nothing to do with how cool or interactive the prayer room was.

My favourite story from the week comes from one lady who was praying in the shift before us one morning. As we chatted about her time, she slipped in the fact that she thought she had started praying in tongues! We asked her what she meant and so she explained how when she was praying on the Monday (this was Wednesday), she suddenly noticed that she was no longer speaking in English, but another language, yet her heart felt alive. WOW! So natural. The other cool thing was that she was one of the people who was baptised on the Sunday. Two baptisms in two days. You have to bear in mind that this is the Church of Scotland, where this sort of behaviour is sometimes frowned upon and not really promoted, unlike a pentecostal church. This lady had just met with God in her own time in her own way. I love it!

During the week, we also found time to relax and enjoy the beautiful countryside (for pics, check out my buddy Aaron's blog), which involved long walks and castle exploring. There is something quite mystical about Scotland. If you've never been, I definitely encourage you to go.

It's been such a crazy month or so. Swansea to Ibiza to Windsor to Kansas City to Guildford to Auchderarder. Climate, cultures, people, time zones. They all change. But God doesn't. In all the places I've been, it's been the same God I've prayed to, the same God I've talked about and the same God who's answered my prayers.

It hurts my head!

Pictures from home

2007-05-01T16:58:00.000Z

Check out this website for cool pics of the beaches near my home in Swansea.

Birthday list

2007-05-01T16:27:00.000Z

Hey guys,

As many of you know, my birthday is on the horizon (May 22nd) and I'm sure many of you would like to get me a gift. Well, you can! I've made a gift list with living generously where you can purchase a gift for me that will actually go to someone who really needs it.

Back in KC

2007-04-26T22:10:00.000Z

Hey y'all!

I'm currently sitting in the 24-7 Prayer office in Kansas City, which is in the Boiler Room building that I lived in for 9 months last year. It feels quite surreal being back and it almost feels as if I've never been away. There are some new faces about and some of the decor has changed, but on the whole, it's the same core that I left nearly a year ago. It's been so cool to catch up with old friends and share stories of what God has been doing in our lives and what he's about to do. It's just reminded me again how big our God is and how amazing His church is. The only reason I have these friendships in these different parts of the world is because of Jesus.

He is what unites us.

John 15 has been a chapter of the bible that has come up again and again in my mind this year and I'm constantly being reminded that we can do nothing apart from Jesus and it's in and through Him that everything good happens. I love it!

This Saturday I'm going to a wedding of a friend I made here in Kansas City. There are going to be 400+ people there and I have a feeling it's going to be quite crazy. I love the fact that I'm at the age where my friends are starting to get married. It's so cool to be a part of the covenant and vow that a couple make to each other and to God. There's something so powerful about that. It's more than signing a registration book, it's the unity of two people under God.

One day we will be part of the bride that is reunited with her bridegroom when he returns. Watch this space!

The Great Commission or the Great Suggestion?

2007-04-21T10:39:00.000Z

This past week I've been on a mission focused course called Kairos. This is an excellent course, which I strongly recommend everyone to take part in. The course really challenges your mindset of what it means to be a Christian, what the Bible says to us and that ultimately we have been blessed to be a blessing.

From the beginning to the end of the Bible, God is about all of the nations (tribes, people groups) across the world glorifying Him. This goes from Adam and Noah being told to go forth and multiply, to Abraham's nation being told that they have been chosen to reach the nations, (Blessed to be a blessing) then, when Jesus comes, he reaches out to Jew and Gentile before leaving the disciples with the commission to go and preach the Gospel to all Nations, which is our mandate as the Church.

So, the challenge for us is do we have a passion to see God glorified in every tribe and nation? Does our perspective reach that far? Are we happy to just receive Blessing from God without then being a blessing to others? Are we content that there are people groups in the World who have never heard the name of Jesus?

I could write a lot more, but I won't spoil it for those of you who want to do Kairos in the future. I will finish with this.

When Jesus says 'Go', what is your response?

Obesity gene

2007-04-14T15:01:00.000Z

So I read in the newspaper yesterday that scientists have discovered that a specific gene in the body is to blame for the obesity epidemic in this country!

And I thought it was because we eat rubbish and don't exercise enough. How silly am I!

Tales from Ibiza

2007-04-13T21:53:00.000Z

Today I returned from a 4 (and a bit) day trip to Ibiza where we endevoured to encourage and support the 24-7 prayer community that is being established on the island (Check out Brian's and Team Edmond's blogs for more info). The summer season doesn't start for a few weeks, so it was a chance, as a team, to see the island and in particular the West End, in a slightly different light than usual. Instead of it being overrun with young pink holiday makers, wearing next to nothing, it was dotted with older people shopping and taking pictures of themselves in front of landmarks, like trees. The weather was cloudy and spitting all week (yes, I know!), but I think this was God's way of testing our motives for going! Each day we went to a different spot of the island to walk and to pray. It was a time, once again, where God really spoke to me of His beauty through creation.

The one experience I really want to share with you happened on the last full day of our trip. We spent the day praying around the bars and clubs of the West End in San Antonio asking God to speak to us. As I was walking I came across a place called Bar Amsterdam, which had lot's of graffiti all over it. As I stood under the yellow canopy that covered the front door, I was surrounded by names of people who had previously been there. It felt a bit like a prayer room! As I was praying for the different names, I came across a group from Swansea, my home city, when suddenly it hit me. I don't know why it hadn't before, but at that moment I realised that what the guys in Ibiza are doing is for more than just the island and the individuals that go, but they are reaching out to the young people of our nation. The young people from our cities, our towns our streets.

If God were to move in Ibiza it would affect the whole of the UK.

I began to see how strategic this place is in reaching our nation. It's more than just a summer thing. I could see Ibiza becoming a place where missionaries are sent back to the UK with the name of Jesus on their lips and a passion burning in their hearts to see His kingdom come.

So anyways, later that night I bumped into a friend from school that I hadn't seen for 8 years who now lives on the island. It seemed really random, but it just reinforced my thoughts and feelings on how our home cities and towns can be reached through this place. So many young people from Wales go to Ibiza each year and I long to see change in their lives.

My prayer is that Ibiza would no longer be a place where people feel they need to escape from life, drinking themselves to excess and wrecking their bodies with drugs. I pray that they would go because it is a place that gives them life and life to the full through Jesus. That they would find the love they are looking for in Him and not in just the physical act of sex with a stranger. I pray that Ibiza would be a catalyst for spiritual change in UK as it is for so many other things, that His name would be above any other.

This week has been just what I needed with a good mix of work (gardening, painting), rest (lot's of eating and chatting) and prayer. I encourage any of you that is passionate about seeing God redeem the club culture or wants to reach out to their generation to pray about going on a team this summer to Ibiza. Check out this website for more details.

Thank you for your prayers when I was away, and please do continue to pray for those who are in Ibiza and who will be going out in the summer.

Hamen.

The crazy month of April is nearly here!

2007-03-31T10:07:00.000Z

Well, I'm back home in Swansea. Have met the new family pet Tom, the loveable (and hyperactive) 7 month year old Border Collie and am enjoying the comforts of home. Spoke at my old youth group last night, just telling stories about my last few years. I do forget how much I've been through! It's amazing to see how when we just say 'OK' to Jesus' invitation to follow him he just takes us on this amazing adventure of mystery and excitement.

As the title of this post says I have a busy month coming up. After this week at home, I'm going to Ibiza for a week to meet up with the 24-7 community there, before returning to the UK to do a mission training course called Kairos, before going to the States for a week to catch up with friends and go to a wedding. It's gonna be fun!

Would appreciate your prayers over this time. Pray that I would have fun, find rest and fall more in love with Jesus.

Very funny video!

2007-03-29T17:02:00.000Z

Check it out!

Why do I pray?

2007-03-27T09:29:00.000Z

I've been blown away recently by God's grace and the way in which he answers our prayers. I've seen God provide money for both myself and others in the last few weeks, I've seen him heal my Grandfather from Leukemia and I've really been aware of the ways in which he has been constantly moulding and changing lives for the better.

It's been amazing, but also quite sobering at the same time. Sobering in the fact that when he has moved, I've reacted with surprise and often scepticism.

An example of this would be the healing of my Grandfather. For months now he has been suffering with Leukemia, which has eaten away at his body and robbed him of his strength (but not his humour!). I have been praying everyday for him, asking God to ease his pain and give peace to the family. When I was feeling a bit bolder, I would pray for his healing, although I think I had resigned myself to him not making it. He's old and cheated death before. Maybe this is his time?

So when God healed him I found myself in this mix of amazement and shock. I didn't expect him to be healed! But thankfully God had different ideas. Even in my unbelief, God answered my prayers.

I find comfort in the fact that this wasn't a dissimilar problem in the Bible either. Two examples spring to mind.

Firstly, there is the story of Zechariah in Luke ch1. Zec had been praying for years for a son, yet when an angel came to tell him that his prayer had been heard and God would give him and his Barron wife a son, he questioned the angel on the basis of their age!

What was he thinking?

When God heard his cry and answered his prayer, he rejected it. He questioned it. He doubted it. As a result of this he was dumb for the whole of the pregnancy, so that he could have time to think things over!

The other example is in Acts 12. In response to the arrest of Peter for preaching the gospel, the believers gather to pray for him long into the night. As they are praying, an angel comes and frees Peter from prison. Peter rushes to the house where they are meeting and knocks the door. A servant girl answers the door, sees Peter, and rushes back to everyone leaving Peter at the door (pure comedy). When the rest of the people hear the girl's story, they react with scepticism.

'You're out of your mind'. 'It must be his angel'.

They had found it easier to believe that it was his angel than the real thing. Again, why had they been praying? Why were they so surprised?

Through both my own experiences and these stories, God has really been challenging me about my prayer life.

Why do I pray?

Do I really believe God will answer my prayers?

Am I afraid to pray to big?

Am I ready for God to answer my prayers?

It is clear that we serve a good God who answers prayers (maybe not always in the way we want him to), even when our faith is small, but how much more is there? This is an exciting yet daunting thought. Could God really change a city around? Could he really use me?

The person that inspires me most when it comes to listening and obeying God is Mary the mother of Jesus. This is her response to the angel when he reveals that she will be the mother to the Messiah, through the conception of the Holy Spirit (craziness!):

"I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said." (Luke1:38 NIV)

She then busts out into a song, worshipping God. She chose to trust God. Amazing!

The challenge for us is not to be afraid to pray big prayers and then when they are answered, having the attitude of Mary that is humble and obedient, full of praise to God, not full of doubt and scepticism.

I pray that you would know more of God's grace in your life and would live with his praise being continuously on your lips as you dare to pray and believe.

Injustice

2007-03-12T12:29:00.000Z

A travesty of justice occured on the weekend.

Wales are trailing by 3 points having just conceded a try with 2 minutes to go. The referee blows for a penalty. Wales have a chance to draw level, but the players want the win. 'Have we time?' they ask. 'Yes' is the response. Young Hook kicks to touch. Ref blows final whistle. The Italians have won the game. How could the ref do that? How can he abuse his power like that?

I can assure you, I was shouting a few other things at the TV at that point. In my view it was more of an injustice that the guy who scored the winning try had punched our captain in the face in the first half. I punched the floor. My face red with rage. This was wrong. Very wrong. This feeling carried with me through the rest of the evening and into the next day. It was only when I calmed down a bit that I heard God whisper,

'Why don't you get this passionate about the real injustices of this World?'

D'oh! God's done it again!

I had got myself so worked up and incensed about an incident that in a couple of weeks will be forgotten about. Yes, it does affect lives, but certainly not as much as people trafficking, pollution, debt, poverty, etc etc.

Where is my passion for this? Why do these issues not affect me as much?

It has troubled me. Lord, I need more compassion. Have mercy on us! There is so much junk in the World today and I don't want to become numb to it.

In a lot of ways, who cares if the ref misled the players and blew his whistle. What's more of an injustice is a woman being promised a job in Britain, having her passport taken off her and then finding herself trapped in prostitution. That happens on a regular basis in this country as does so many other acts of injustice. It has to stop!

The greatest injustice, however, is someone dieing without hearing that Jesus loves them and died for them.

'How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!' Romans 10:14-15

I pray that God would open our eyes to the World around us and that he would break our hearts with the things that break his. Amen.